Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, sending
criminals
to jail is alleged to not be the best choice. Instead
, other approaches such
as job training and education
are considered better options. Even though these actions
might be quite better at some points, I strongly opine they are not adequate.
Education
and job training are asserted to be a good way to help criminals
. Many individuals are of the opinion that jail and other punishments
are not efficient anymore and innovative methods must be introduced in order to make criminals
better people. For instance
, criminals
can be sent to diverse workshops in which they learn new skills to earn money, in this
way not only will they learn to use new skills to earn money, but also
they will avoid committing crimes
. Also
, education
might be essential to increase criminals
' awareness and teach them how their wrong attitude can have a negative impact on both themselves and other people's lives. Just consider thousands of juvenile criminals
, who have not been sent to school and owing to the lack of knowledge and self-esteem commit crimes
.
On the other hand
, avoiding sending criminals
to prison could have further
repercussions. Firstly
, some criminals
may continue committing crimes
regardless of the knowledge they obtained from workshops or educational classes, what this
often leads to is criminals
not taking these classes seriously and they may proceed with their previous actions
in the hope of never going to jail. Secondly
, for some crimes
such
as murder, soft punishments
are not enough and not only will soft punishments
increase the murder rate, but also
criminals
will not face any serious punishments
after committing them. In fact
for these sorts of Add a comma
fact,
crimes
, hard punishments
are required and super necessary.
In conclusion, despite the fact that education
and training jobs may be quite helpful for encouraging criminals
to stop their illegal actions
, these options will not always work and some criminals
can take advantage of these soft punishments
which can exacerbate their illegal behaviour. I, personally think criminals
ought to face the consequences of their actions
and must be sent to prison. However
, the governments can provide educational classes for prisoners such
that they can learn new skills.Submitted by Arman on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates some logical structure, but it can be strengthened by better organizing the paragraphs and ensuring each one has a clear central idea that is expanded upon. Transitions could be improved for smoother flow between points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be enhanced. The introduction should more explicitly outline the arguments to be discussed, while the conclusion can be strengthened by summarizing your viewpoint more succinctly without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, though the development of each point is not fully extended. Aim to provide more detailed explanations and expand on the impacts of education and job training versus imprisonment for criminals.
task achievement
While you have completed the response, consider firmly orienting your essay towards answering the essay question throughout your response. Ensure all paragraphs contribute directly to addressing the prompt.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, though they could be more comprehensive. Deepening your argument with further analysis and contrasting viewpoints would allow you to show a greater range of perspectives and understanding.
task achievement
Your essay could benefit from more relevant and specific examples. When you mention educational programs or workshops, provide concrete examples or cite statistics or studies to support your argument.