Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, sending
criminals
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to jail is alleged to not be the best choice.
Instead
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, other approaches
such
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as job training and
education
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are considered better options. Even though these
actions
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might be quite better at some points, I strongly opine they are not adequate.
Education
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and job training are asserted to be a good way to help
criminals
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. Many individuals are of the opinion that jail and other
punishments
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are not efficient anymore and innovative methods must be introduced in order to make
criminals
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better people.
For instance
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,
criminals
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can be sent to diverse workshops in which they learn new skills to earn money, in
this
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way not only will they learn to use new skills to earn money, but
also
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they will avoid committing
crimes
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.
Also
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,
education
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might be essential to increase
criminals
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' awareness and teach them how their wrong attitude can have a negative impact on both themselves and other people's lives. Just consider thousands of juvenile
criminals
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, who have not been sent to school and owing to the lack of knowledge and self-esteem commit
crimes
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.
On the other hand
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, avoiding sending
criminals
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to prison could have
further
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repercussions.
Firstly
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, some
criminals
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may continue committing
crimes
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regardless of the knowledge they obtained from workshops or educational classes, what
this
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often leads to is
criminals
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not taking these classes seriously and they may proceed with their previous
actions
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in the hope of never going to jail.
Secondly
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, for some
crimes
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such
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as murder, soft
punishments
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are not enough and not only will soft
punishments
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increase the murder rate, but
also
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criminals
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will not face any serious
punishments
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after committing them. In
fact
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fact,
show examples
for these sorts of
crimes
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, hard
punishments
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are required and super necessary. In conclusion, despite the fact that
education
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and training jobs may be quite helpful for encouraging
criminals
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to stop their illegal
actions
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, these options will not always work and some
criminals
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can take advantage of these soft
punishments
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which can exacerbate their illegal behaviour. I, personally think
criminals
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ought to face the consequences of their
actions
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and must be sent to prison.
However
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, the governments can provide educational classes for prisoners
such
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that they can learn new skills.
Submitted by Arman on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates some logical structure, but it can be strengthened by better organizing the paragraphs and ensuring each one has a clear central idea that is expanded upon. Transitions could be improved for smoother flow between points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be enhanced. The introduction should more explicitly outline the arguments to be discussed, while the conclusion can be strengthened by summarizing your viewpoint more succinctly without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, though the development of each point is not fully extended. Aim to provide more detailed explanations and expand on the impacts of education and job training versus imprisonment for criminals.
task achievement
While you have completed the response, consider firmly orienting your essay towards answering the essay question throughout your response. Ensure all paragraphs contribute directly to addressing the prompt.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, though they could be more comprehensive. Deepening your argument with further analysis and contrasting viewpoints would allow you to show a greater range of perspectives and understanding.
task achievement
Your essay could benefit from more relevant and specific examples. When you mention educational programs or workshops, provide concrete examples or cite statistics or studies to support your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Recidivism
  • Reintegration
  • Vocational training
  • Incarceration
  • Deterrent
  • Correctional facilities
  • Reformative justice
  • Social reentry
  • Ex-offender
  • Criminal justice system
  • Restorative practices
  • Penal system
  • Social marginalization
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