IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You have been experiencing problem with the local transport. Write a letter to the manager of the public transportation service and say: -How have you used the local public transport? -What problems have you experience? -Suggest how they can improve the service

#transport #manager #transportation #service #-how #-what #-suggest
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Matthew, I want to express my dissatisfaction with the public transportation system. I recently had an unpleasant experience commuting to work.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are heavy traffic jams, and buses do not arrive on time. They are often delayed during peak hours.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the buses are extremely crowded, leading to long waits and wasted time. There is
also
Linking Words
 no timetable at the bus stop showing bus routes, stops, and schedules.
This
Linking Words
 reduces satisfaction with the services and complicates logistics. To improve the service, I suggest adhering to a precise schedule, installing boards at bus stops with the timetable and routes, and increasing the number of buses during peak hours. It would
also
Linking Words
 help to change routes during peak hours to avoid congested streets and use less crowded roads to prevent traffic jams. Sincerely,
Submitted by krisjeffay1717 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Consider breaking down longer sentences into shorter ones to improve readability and coherence.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or details about the problems faced to strengthen the task response.
Task Achievement
The letter addresses the main points of the task clearly, including usage of the transport, experienced problems, and suggestions for improvement.
Task Achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and formal, which is appropriate for this context.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas are organized in a logical order, transitioning from problems to suggestions.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: