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Band 5.5

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphone. Why is the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphone #case #development
In recent days there is an increased rate at which
technology
 is growing in society and in the country at large. Teenagers tend to spend most of their time on the internet.
This
 is of great advantage and it
also
 has some added disadvantages. Globally there is an
advances
Change the noun form
advance
show examples
 in
technology
such
 as the use of phones, laptops, wifi, data and so many others. Teenagers use many of the new technologies
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 produced to improve life and to be able to live to the new standard of the world. They are advantages of
this
 new
technology
such
 as enhancement in their
school
 activities, it helps to promote easy communication around the world, helps to provide information from other countries and promotes enlightenment. For ,example smartphone helps a teenager in
school
 in so many ways. When there are given a difficult topic in
school
, to present as a seminal work.
This
 was a report gotten from a 3rd-grade student in high
school
. It is known that smartphones make it easier to get the needed information for seminal work.
Hence
 teenagers making use of smartphones is of great advantage and it promotes positive development.
Furthermore
, the disadvantages of
this
 new
technology
 in the lives of
Add an article
a youngster
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youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
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 can not be over-emphasized or neglected in
this
 essay. The negative influence or disadvantage of
this
 newly developed
technology
 on
school
 pupils is laziness in academic activities and performance, distractions and exposure to immoral acts
such
 as pornography. For ,example research carried out on high
school
 students in 2020 proves that they spend most of their time on the internet, thereby negotiating their academic goals. ,
However
Add a comma
,However
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technology
 is said to be of greater importance to the life of the teenager in the present world or society. To sum it up I acknowledge the disadvantages of the new technological development in the society but
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 my own , I totally agree that
technology
 is of greater advantage to the teenager.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Engrossed
  • Distracted
  • Addictive
  • Digital natives
  • Virtual reality
  • Interactive
  • Online gaming
  • Social media platforms
  • Connectivity
  • Social engagement
  • Information access
  • Learning tools
  • Peer influence
  • Societal pressure
  • Alternative activities
  • Recreational facilities
What to do next:
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