IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

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There are those who argue that it is better for tertiary
students
Use synonyms
 to live a long way from their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 than stay at home with their parents. In my opinion, there are both pros and cons to
this
Linking Words
 view. In defence of
this
Linking Words
 contention, there are all kinds of reasons, if you ask me, why it makes sense. For one thing,
students
Use synonyms
 who live independently will learn useful
life
Use synonyms
 skills.
This
Linking Words
 is because they have to do their own cooking, cleaning, managing money, grocery shopping and the like. Myself is a classic example in
this
Linking Words
 regard. I used to live on my own when I was studying at the university. I successfully managed both my
life
Use synonyms
 and study requirements. On top of
this
Linking Words
, they may
also
Linking Words
 get real work experience in part-
time
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 jobs.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
life
Use synonyms
 will be much easier for them when they start their careers. Be that as it may,
however
Linking Words
, the negatives in relation to
this
Linking Words
 idea are just as big, as far as I am concerned. Perhaps chief among these is that it is expensive. It may be too costly for many
students
Use synonyms
 to pay rent,
as well as
Linking Words
 for food, transport, electricity and gas bills and so on.
As well as
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, if they have to cook, clean or take part-
time
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 work, they have less
time
Use synonyms
 for their studies.
For instance
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 are under greater pressure these days because they have to attend lectures, prepare for exams, and complete assignments on
time
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 may affect their academic performance. Turning to my own experience, the way things are when it comes to
this
Linking Words
 matter in my country, China, is much the same as it was across the world. My home city of Lanzhou is a textbook example
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
point
Correct determiner usage
this point
show examples
. Here, many
students
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 have to study very hard to get into good universities. At uni, they need to work even harder to achieve good academic records, which can help them to get decent jobs later on.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the day, there are positive
as well as
Linking Words
 negative aspects to all considerations in
life
Use synonyms
. It totally depends on their circumstances.

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task response
Ensure your essay clearly addresses all parts of the prompt. You need to express your opinion on whether college students are better off living far away from home than living with their parents and provide reasons to support your stance.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks coherence and cohesion due to the inconsistent organization of ideas. Work on using appropriate linking words and phrases to make the essay more cohesive and better structured.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • responsibility
  • life skills
  • budgeting
  • cooking
  • time management
  • social integration
  • networking
  • extracurricular activities
  • academic resources
  • distractions
  • cultural exposure
  • personal development
  • global understanding
  • self-discovery
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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