IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The NRA believe more guns make the country safer. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

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It is often argued that more
weapon
Fix the agreement mistake
weapons
show examples
 make
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 safer. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and think that
guns
Use synonyms
 make
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 more dangerous.
First
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 of all, I reckon that the impact of
guns
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 is huge, school
shooting
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shootings
show examples
 and terror acts happen in the countries
such
Linking Words
 as
Usa
Correct your spelling
USA
 very often
,
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apply
show examples
 because the
weapons
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 can be purchased by 18 years old individuals.
This
Linking Words
 could be prevented by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
,
Linking Words
nonetheless
Add a comma
,nonetheless
show examples
 constitution of the
Correct your spelling
USA
Usa
Correct your spelling
US
 allows people to buy
weapons
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
guns
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 and knives are available almost in every town in the United States of America.
For instance
Linking Words
, the situation in
recent
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a recent
the recent
show examples
 primary school shooting that has happened in Texas, 20 people have been killed by
18 year old
Add a hyphen
18-year-old
show examples
individual
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individuals
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 with mental and psychopathic problems,
hence
Linking Words
 18 children under the age of 14
Add a missing verb
have been
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been
Wrong verb form
were
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 killed.
Correct your spelling
That's
That
That is
Thats
Correct your spelling
That's
show examples
 why it is very dangerous and silly to think that
guns
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 make
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 safer.
Secondly
Linking Words
, an excess of
weapons
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 may provide opportunities for felons and criminals to buy
big
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the big
a big
show examples
 and cheap
amount
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amounts
show examples
 of arsenal.
In other words
Linking Words
, they will be
armored
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armoured
show examples
 like
a
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apply
show examples
police or army
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 may cause
a
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apply
show examples
big trouble and consequences for society.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
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country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 by trying to
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
 itself, make an
opportunities
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
show examples
 to destroy itself.
For example
Linking Words
, the situation that
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
happened in January in Kazakhstan demonstrated that felons and terrorists can cause
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
big trouble to
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 by stealing
guns
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 from gunshops and
weaponmarkets
Correct your spelling
weapon markets
weapons markets
.
Thus
Linking Words
, even if governments around the world will produce
weapons
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 need to be in
usage
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the usage
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 of
regular
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the regular
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 army or police not in
people
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people's
show examples
 use. To sum up, I strongly
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that more
guns
Use synonyms
 make
Use synonyms
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 not a safe place,
in
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
 it provides with
weapons
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 felons and terrorists and because of
this
Linking Words
 school shootings and terrors happen in the world.

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