IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that public libraries are no longer important due to the availability of digital information. Others believe that libraries still play a crucial role in society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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With the advancements in technology, Many
people
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 believe that
libraries
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 are of no use because of the virtual display of
information
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,
while
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 others argue that
libraries
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 play a key role in the community and should be maintained. Despite the benefits of both views, I am inclined to argue that walk-in
libraries
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 are essential in society. On the one hand, modernization has increased the rate at which
people
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access
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information
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 online, making it easy for individuals to read any book at their convenience.
For example
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, a digital application
such
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 as Kindle can give a reader a variety of options on books or journals, which can be accessed at any moment in time.
This
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 provides comfort and fosters reading ability which cannot be achieved in terms of public
libraries
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.
On the other hand
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, Public
libraries
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 offer
access
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 to some historical books or
information
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, which are not on the internet.
This
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 is particularly important in terms of international conflict novels, in order to hinder some
information
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.
Moreover
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, some
people
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 prefer traditional reading methods in order to minimize their screen time
,
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apply
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 and to highlight important
information
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.
For instance
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, an elderly person would choose to read a physical book rather than virtual materials, and
this
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 is because of the ease
in
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of
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 understanding and has been used to
this
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 method of reading.
Additionally
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,
people
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 in rural areas mostly have limited
access
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 to the internet, which can disrupt their ability to hybrid
information
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. In conclusion,
Although
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 most
information
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 can be accessed digitally, I believe public
libraries
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 are still vital in society, because they provide
access
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 to wider publications and rural populations can benefit greatly from that.
However
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, a balance between digital and walk-in
libraries
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 can promote a well-rounded society.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between your main points. Transition phrases can help connect ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Ensure that all your points are fully developed and that examples are more explicitly tied back to your arguments.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and states your opinion well.
task achievement
You included relevant examples to support your points, which enhance the argument significantly.
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