The number of older people is increasing. Some people think this is causing problems in their countries while others feel that older people play an important role in society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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In today’s world, older people are increasingly remarkable. A few people indicate that the elders bring the issues to countries while others say they are nesscerary in

society

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, I believe that the elders contribute huge benefits to

society

Use synonyms

, and the economy and create more work opportunities. On the one hand, it brings the problem, the high cost of health care, to plenty of cities where

seniors

Use synonyms

number is increasing. As medical technology develops rapidly, people can live longer and longer.

However

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, the aged are always company a variety of physical illnesses and conditions.

For example

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, as my grandmother is over 90 years old, she has to go to the hospital to check her body frequently.

Hence

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, the government pay a majority of resources to the aged, which makes the large cost of medicine on the nation’s shoulder.

On the other hand

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, there are some benefits brought by

seniors

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, helping

society

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’s economy and making more job opportunities.

Moreover

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, after

seniors

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had retired, they have a lot of time and money to travel to plentiful cities and they do many unpay jobs for

society

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such

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as community volunteer and looking up children for their sons or daughter.

Furthermore

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, they

also

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create plenty of job opportunities in various industries,

such

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as insurance, aged care centre, tourism, and medicine development.

Therefore

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seniors

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not only gave us problems, but they bring many merits to

society

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. To summarize,

although

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the elders create the higher cost of health care to the countries, they bring massive benefits, job chances and boosted economy, outweighing the tiny drawbacks.

Submitted by Nikky on Wed Jun 29 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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The number of older people is increasing. Some people think this is causing problems in their countries while others feel that older people play an important role in society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people get into debt buying things they don’t need and can’t ‎afford.What are the reasons for this behaviour?What action can be taken ‎to prevent people having this problem?

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Difference between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays, people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advetisements and TV channels. To what extent do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their subjects, other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for all qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own view.