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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think children should attend extra classes after school, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Learning is very important in today's postmodern age. Some people think that students should attend extra classes for higher schooling
as well as
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 literacy;
however
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, many people deny
this
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.
Although
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, I fully agree that taking extra classes increases students' ability to a different degree, many of its opposite results of which cannot be ignored.
This
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 upcoming article will discuss both perspectives before making any judgment.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the benefits of adding extra classes to a student's life can be seen in preparing for competitive exams. Particularly, Children who want to make a career out of a job at a respectable level in the future need to be educated beyond their schooling, with which they will achieve a status lifestyle by successfully passing demanding exams.
For example
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, learners who are interested in cracking Civil Services exams in India need to work on the subjects apart from their schooling and college material to get a well-dignified job in the administration sector.
Hence
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, participating in educational activities apart from schooling certainly helps in increasing one's knowledge skills.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, the reason for not inculcating extra courses can be associated with disadvantages to studying more than you need to.
In other words
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, if the student devotes all his time to studying, he will not have the opportunity to participate in essential activities like sports.
As a result
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, he will lead a sedentary lifestyle, resulting in many diseases
such
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 as obesity, anxiety, and suffering from mental stress.
For instance
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, students in big metropolitan cities like Delhi are suffering from mental problems including stress and anxiety
due to
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 study overload.
Thus
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, burdensome studying might create a very difficult period for the brain to overcome, leading to unhappy growth.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that undoubtedly, the child needs additional insight
along with
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 schooling to compete with difficult challenges that come his way in life.
Nevertheless
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, it is
also
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 important to participate in sports and other outdoor activities rather than taking burdens beyond limits.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main idea of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should summarize the main points and provide a clear opinion.
task achievement
Ensure that the response addresses all aspects of the task prompt, including both perspectives and your own opinion.
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