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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that work is the most important thing in a person's life. Without the success of a career, life becomes meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #person #life #success #career
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Many people believe that accomplishments at a job are vital to derive greater satisfaction out of
life
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. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
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 becomes worthless without success in a job because success motivates
one
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 to devote himself more towards duties at work,
gives
Correct word choice
and gives
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 more power and money thereby allowing
to
Correct pronoun usage
one to
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 secure a better
future
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.
Firstly
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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professional achievement is vital in
life
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 as it assists in fulfilling the self-actualization needs,
In other words
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, the more the achievement, the more is the self-respect! Challenges tackled and resolved gives more self-confidence thereby leading to
further
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 progress. And as
one
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 leads
further
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 with
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 understanding and self-belief
towards
Change preposition
toward
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 the project, the capability of shaping the desired outcomes is enhanced. That's where the victory of a task at employment lies!
Secondly
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, and admittedly, occupational accomplishments result in monetary gains at work. Everyone desires more comfort and convenience in
life
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 and
that is
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 achievable with the help of earnings.
Therefore
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,
one
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 can actually follow a better lifestyle. That
also
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 includes
,
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apply
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 securing a better
future
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 not only by saving more income but
also
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 by being a lighthouse for
one
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's own children's education and
future
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. Ultimately,
one
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 can have a peaceful retirement with a more contented
life
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. To conclude, it is not wrong to say that
life
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 is perceived as more contented by many people when they achieve milestones in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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.
One
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 can see many intangible benefits;
such
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 as increased
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self-pride
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self- pride
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self-pride
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, better living conditions due to the plight of money flow and a protected
future
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; that has resulted in feeling satisfied with
life
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. And
this
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 is the outcome of success at employment.
Submitted by mamta2310 on

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