IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that living in big cities is bad for health. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #cities #health
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In spite of the phenomenon that city-oriented tendency has become popular in recent years, whether living in metropolises is detrimental to the public's
health
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 has caused a heated debate. Some advocates harbour the view that citizens are suffering from a myriad of
health
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 problems, either psychological or physical
health
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. From my perspective, I am grimly supportive of
this
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 issue.
First
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 of all, an argument in its favour is that living in big cities has a multitude of physical problems for employees. Undeniably, it is because recruits have a preference for working the whole day in world-renowned and competitive companies for making a fortune in large cities as opposed to giving top priority to their
health
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.
For instance
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, once employees concentrate on completing their overtasks
first
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, they may have no time to have meals, do exercise and have to stay up the whole night, it can extremely easy to contract some chronic diseases,
such
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 as high blood pressure, heart diseases and obesity.
Besides
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, the great psychological pressure
also
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 should be taken into account.
Furthermore
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, under the stress of workload and sky-high life costs, dwellers are confronted with many troubles and challenges in their life, which might have taken a toll on their mental
health
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. Some of them,
for example
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, have already had depression. Admittedly, It is should not be neglected that living in these metropolises contributes to those poverty-stricken workers that come from rural areas to struggle for a higher quality of life.
However
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, most of them have to make more efforts and pay for the price of their
health
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. In conclusion, It seems to me that boosting cities' economies prominently may force citizens to ignore the importance of
health
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.
Submitted by 121288576 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • respiratory problems
  • population density
  • stress levels
  • mental health issues
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • healthcare facilities
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • psychological well-being
  • recreational areas
  • social networks
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