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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of presssure to work hard on their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

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Most youngsters do not have enough free
time
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, because they spend much of their
time
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 studying well,
thus
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, they are stressed all the
time
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. I think the main reasons for that are subjects are getting tougher and increasing interest in top universities. Governments can solve
this
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 issue by teaching
students
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 world teaching methods, so, they do not have to spend many hours on extra courses. Nowadays, teenagers are surfing into studying
in particular
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 countries of the world.
Therefore
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, their spending
time
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 on leisure activities is less than it was. The core reason for
this
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 trend, that institution subjects are being too complicated. Another reason is that most
students
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 want to apply abroad,
thus
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 they are motivating themselves to study more and better.
For example
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, only countable graduates of my province were freshmen at the top 100 universities of the world when I was in seventh grade at school. These pupils encouraged us to study harder to get accepted into these popular universities and now almost all of my peers are taking extracurricular courses and spending over ten hours a day learning. To solve
this
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 problem authorities should apply modern learning programs for high school
students
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. Through
this
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 program, young people can save their precious
time
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 and they do not need to attempt special courses.
For instance
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, the exams of higher education were not related to school programs in Uzbekistan until 2020.
Then
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, our government decided to renew all subject books after getting too many complaints. Now, the number of edu-centers is decreasing and most people are happy with
this
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 trend. In conclusion, most young people have less
time
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, because their focus is almost fully directed toward studying a lot. The causes of
this
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 view, sciences are difficult to learn and their wish to study abroad. Governments should teach the latest methods in schools, so, they can let their
students
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 have more
time
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.

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task achievement
Make sure to include more details and develop your points further, particularly in your explanations. This will help in providing a clearer and more comprehensive response to the task.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of your ideas by using more linking words and phrases. This will allow your essay to be more cohesive and easier for readers to follow.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and data that directly support your points. This will add weight to your arguments and illustrate the situation more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and discusses the causes and solutions clearly.
task achievement
You demonstrate a good understanding of the issues young people face regarding their studies.
coherence and cohesion
You have made a notable effort in structuring your essay into clear paragraphs.
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