Some people think that the government should be responsible for crimes prevention, while others believe that it is responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion

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While
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it is often believed that the
government
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ought to be accountable for preventing crimes, there are others who think that
people
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are responsible for protecting themselves. In my opinion, the
government
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has more opportunities to reduce the number of offences. On the one hand,
according to
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some, it is the responsibility of the
government
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to protect
citizens
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from crimes because it can create strict laws, and I agree.
In other words
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,
people
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are afraid of breaking the law if there are deterrents,
such
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as fines, custodial sentences, or punishments.
For example
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, Singapore has really strict laws and
that is
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why it is one of the safest countries in the world.
Thus
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,
people
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do not turn to crime if they know about the consequences of
this
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decision.
Furthermore
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,
citizens
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pay taxes to the
government
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, and they accept that the
government
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will use
this
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to maintain safety. The
government
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can spend taxes to hire more policemen or to establish cameras.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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claim that
citizens
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should be responsible for crime prevention.
Firstly
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, the
government
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cannot control every step.
That is
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to say,
people
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have to know about the basic rules of remaining safe.
For instance
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, they should avoid walking alone at night or lock their door before leaving. If they follow these rules, there are more chances to be safe.
Secondly
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, the
government
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do not have access to private data and what
people
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are doing on the Internet, so when they want to buy something in
the
Correct article usage
an
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online shop, they need to be sure about the security of
this
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shop.
To sum up
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,
although
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people
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have different views, I think that the
government
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is able to prevent crimes better than
citizens
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and the reason is that it has the money and power to do it.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the question, addressing both sides of the issue. Keep providing balanced discussion in your essays.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to use linking words accurately to improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and your stance, which is well-maintained throughout the essay.
supported main points
Your main points are supported by relevant examples, such as the reference to Singapore's strict laws contributing to its safety.
logical structure
The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and reiterates your opinion.
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