Nowadays, entertainers get paid more than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is this a negative or positive development?

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In recent days, the vast majority of artists have had a greater income than officials working in the political sectors.

This

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essay will give

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

clues for

this

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phenomenon and how it positively influences society.

To begin

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with, there are numerous reasons for

this

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trend. Entertainers can earn money in various fields,

while

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politicians only depend on basic salaries and rewards for their earnings. Thanks to technical development, performers are not only able to make cash through live performances but

also

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through social media platforms.

For example

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, YouTubers get a considerable amount of money when their videos reach a certain number of viewers.

Besides

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, donations from fans and wages from brands being advertised are contributing to a higher income for artists. These sources of cash are so big that just collaborating with some famous logos makes them millionaires. The fact that celebrities earn more than officials can be beneficial for the community. Artists often have a significant role in society as they can use their great earnings to better the community. There are many entertainers in the world making a big contribution to the improvement of the quality of human life.

For instance

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, Sadio Mane, who is a professional football player, has built hospitals and schools for residents in Senegal. What's more, a low wage can act as a motivation for politicians to complete their work to get rewards and

further

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promotion. In conclusion,

due to

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the

advance

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advances

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in technology, entertainers can earn a better income than politicians.

Also

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this

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phenomenon has apparently positive impacts on society.

087obu0001Wed Jun 29 2022

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task achievement

While your essay provides a clear response to the task, it could be improved with more specific examples and elaboration on certain points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain readability and flow. Some minor improvements can be made to the logical structure of the essay.

task achievement

Avoid using phrases like 'vast majority' without supporting data. Instead, use more precise language.

coherence cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structure to avoid repetition and to enhance the readability of your essay.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the question with relevant examples like Sadio Mane's contribution to Senegal.

coherence cohesion

A clear introduction and conclusion are present, framing the essay well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Nowadays, entertainers get paid more than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is this a negative or positive development?

Your opinion

Some people think that the government should invest more in public health and less in other areas such as education and infrastructure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this topic? What measures can the international community take to meet this demand?

In this present time, CCTV is widely used in public areas in many cities for crime prevention. Whereas some humankind consider this measure to be an invasion of privacy, I contend that the advantages of using video cameras surpass its disadvantages.

Psychologists have known for many years that colors can affect how people feel. For this reason, attention should be given to color schemes when decorating places such as offices and hospitals. How true is this statement? How far does color influence people’s health and capacity for work?