IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Education
Use synonyms
 and
health
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care
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 are basic necessities for every living soul. Without proper
education
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 and
health
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care
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system
Add a comma
,system
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 no nation can prosper and even cannot
sustain
Correct pronoun usage
itselfsustain
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. Many people
argues
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argue
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 that it is
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Correct article usage
the government
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government
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government's
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 responsibility to provide basic
education
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 and
health
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care
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 to
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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every citizen for free. I strongly believe
with
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in
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this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
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view point
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viewpoint
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. To commence with, in developing
countries
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huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 proportion of society is illiterate. Most children in these developing
countries
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 are without basic
education
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. These
children’s
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children
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 are even cannot read and write. In developing
countries
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education
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 for kids is too costly that many families cannot even afford it.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Pakistans
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Pakistan's
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 rural areas most
of
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apply
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children
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the children
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working
Wrong verb form
work
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 because their parents cannot afford to send them
in
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to
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 school. These young kids are working in restaurants so they can support their families.
Hence
Linking Words
, It is the
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government
Change noun form
government's
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 responsibility to provide Basic
education
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 to every kid.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in developing
countries
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 life expectancy is too low
comparable
Replace the word
compared
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 to developed
countries
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. Infant mortality is
also
Linking Words
a
Change the article
the
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 biggest concern in these
countries
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 because of illiteracy. Most of the population is without any
health
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 insurance and per capita income is
also
Linking Words
 too small. These factors contribute to
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
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 life expectancy in developing
countries
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
Pakistan
Add a comma
,Pakistan
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 most cancer diseases are unnoticed because families do not have money to do
costly
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the costly
a costly
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test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
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. Even if someone knows he got cancer he cannot afford
costly
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the costly
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procedure
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procedures
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. Governments need to help people by giving them free
health
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 services. In conclusion, providing
health
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care
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 and
education
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 is the
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government
Change noun form
government's
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 responsibility to its citizen. It is the right of every
tex payer
Add a hyphen
tex-payer
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 citizen to get basic necessities from the
government
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.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental right
  • socioeconomic status
  • equal opportunities
  • financial burden
  • economically disadvantaged
  • public health expenditures
  • workforce
  • economic growth
  • waiting times
  • government budgets
  • financial constraints
  • higher taxes
  • reallocation
  • privatization
  • quality services
  • inequality
  • fulfill responsibility
What to do next:
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