IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that schools are no longer necessary because people can acquire information on the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #information #internet
In
this
 concurrent world , the study is an
invetable
Correct your spelling
inevitable
investable
 topic . Few ethnic groups postulate that the
school
 is not
critical
Add an article
the critical
a critical
show examples
 place to
Correct your spelling
bring
bringe
Correct your spelling
bring
information
 so
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is enough . I vehemently
accorde
Correct your spelling
accordance
 with the given statement . In
this
 discourse , I will expound
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
 disagreement along with credible examples . The chief rationalization for my disagreement comes from heterogeneous points .
Firstly
 , the most discernible nub is the kind of
information
 . To be more specific , they do not have the exames . In comparison , the
school
information
much
Add a missing verb
is much
show examples
 better , specific , and
useful
Correct quantifier usage
more useful
show examples
 than
internet
 data . Another paramount ground for my belief is alteration .
In other words
 , they are using
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
school
 the new way
instead
 of
traditionally
Correct article usage
the traditionally
show examples
 way . For an instance , my teacher used a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
Correct your spelling
strategies
strategy
strateges
Correct your spelling
strategies
 that why every
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
 love her classes and
lesson's
Change the noun form
lessons
lesson
show examples
 were
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
perfect rather than
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 .
Is
Change the verb form
Are
show examples
 there any other reasons behind my disagreement ? ,
certainly
Add a comma
,certainly
show examples
 they are . Parent's comfort , as we know when the children go to
school
 the feeling of family is more
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
 because they
are know
Change the verb form
know
show examples
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
 in
school
 is useful .
However
 , it has some disadvantages but the advantages outweigh the cons . These
day's
Change noun form
days
show examples
 they see development in all areas of life , but we should take the good thing only . These are some top-notch reasons for my agreeing with the presented argument . To summarize the composition , the essay
ecplicated
Correct your spelling
explicated
 my accordance with
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
information
 is enough , not only
this
 but it
also
 shed light on reasons of it . So , I fully disagree
Correct your spelling
with
eith
Correct your spelling
with
this
 phenomenon .
Submitted by khaloudobaid97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: