IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#some #people #crimes #circumstances #poverty #nature
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Today, every country is facing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many
problems
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
feels
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
 that
problems
Use synonyms
 like
crime
Use synonyms
 are conclusions of poverty as well as social
problems
Use synonyms
.While other thinks that they are the results of bad
people
Use synonyms
 in nature.Here,I would like to discuss both the views and tell you what
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think. It is undeniable that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 nowadays everything is becoming expensive and common
people
Use synonyms
 could not afford everything
that is
Linking Words
 necessary for them. Some
people
Use synonyms
feels
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
 that they are below
poverty
Add an article
the poverty
show examples
 line.
People
Use synonyms
 are unable to buy their daily basic needs. So in order to run their
houses
Add a comma
,houses
show examples
 they are getting indulge in the
crime
Use synonyms
 sections. They use to snatch the valuable ornaments from the
females
Change to a genitive case
female's
show examples
 neck, some
people
Use synonyms
 became
edicted
Correct your spelling
addicted
 to steal the expensive items from the homes
such
Linking Words
 as things made of gold ,
silver
Correct word choice
and silver
show examples
,
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apply
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so that they could
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
 them in the market
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 get money in return. Many
people
Use synonyms
 are facing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
problems
Use synonyms
 like
people
Use synonyms
who's
Correct your spelling
whose
show examples
 daughters are being tolerated for the dowry and they are helpless for their
daughter
Fix the agreement mistake
daughters
show examples
. So, in order to make their
Correct your spelling
daughter's
daugher's
Correct your spelling
daughter's
 life easy and free from the
husband
Change noun form
husband's
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family
Change noun form
family's
show examples
 blames ,
people
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 do the snatching or do fraud
with
Change preposition
apply
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the other
people
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that
crime
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 caused due to the bad behaviour of the
people
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. There are numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who are not good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their habits.They use to compel the others to
intimedate
Correct your spelling
intimidate
 them so as to create a seen in the society or show the
people
Use synonyms
 that are having a fight. There are
varities
Correct your spelling
varieties
 of
people
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 who are doing the higher jobs and they
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 the
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 of their positions by using them on the
people
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
policeman
Fix the agreement mistake
policemen
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 sometimes
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
challen
Correct your spelling
challenge
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
people
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 without any reason and leaves their known ones. In
such
Linking Words
case
Add a comma
,case
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 if a person complains , he or she is put to the
prission
Correct your spelling
prison
 without a reason. To sum up,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 want to tell the government that
people
Use synonyms
 who are doing
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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 or
people
Use synonyms
 who are reporting the
complains
Replace the word
complaints
show examples
 against the criminals, should both be investigated. Criminals should be punished in the way that
people
Use synonyms
 who
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
invole
Correct your spelling
involve
involved
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
 should think before doing the
crime
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by guneetgrewal17 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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