It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that living far away from their hometown is a better option for university students than living with family during their academic life. I agree with
this
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idea because living independently from their parents has many benefits for young people who are studying at university. First of all, generally, students have a limited budget to manage their living costs for each month so that they have a chance to learn to spend their money wisely. If they live at home with their family, they do not have any responsibility regarding governing economic issues at home. Living far away means being full of responsibilities
such
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as; paying rent of the house and bills.
For example
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, as a student, I do not have any regular income which is why I should work in a part-time job to provide my basic needs to survive
while
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I am studying at
college
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so I am preparing to live more disciplined about economic problems.
Secondly
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, usually, young people, who live at their home with family members, do not have many duties
such
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as; cooking and cleaning. Living far away includes more responsibilities in terms of basic daily routines. Parents often think that their children should focus on lessons
while
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he/she is studying at
college
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.
On the other hand
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,
college
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life is not full of academic issues.
To conclude
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, living far away from parents means many mandatory tasks. All
college
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student should live  
This
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inevitable opportunity to obtain new experiences;  
such
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as managing their money, cleaning, and cooking.

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task response
The introduction clearly states your opinion, but it's helpful to provide a brief overview of your main points in the introduction. This will prepare the reader for what to expect in the body of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points you've made, rather than just stating that living far away comes with responsibilities. A clear restatement of your position along with a recap of your main arguments will improve clarity.
task response
While you have mentioned some responsibilities of living away from home, giving more specific examples or anecdotes could help enhance the richness of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The use of transitional phrases can improve the flow of your essay. Phrases such as 'In addition,' or 'Furthermore' can help link ideas and create smoother transitions between points.
task response
You have a clear position that is articulated well in the introduction. Your agreement with the statement is evident throughout the essay.
task response
You made good points about financial responsibility and the learning experiences associated with living independently, showcasing some depth in your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • responsibility
  • life skills
  • budgeting
  • cooking
  • time management
  • social integration
  • networking
  • extracurricular activities
  • academic resources
  • distractions
  • cultural exposure
  • personal development
  • global understanding
  • self-discovery
  • personal growth
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