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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many cities around the world, there is a shortage of housing. Some people believe that governments should build more housing in empty spaces in towns and cities. Others believe that these spaces should be preserved for parks and green areas. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Are the thoughts of preserving green
spaces
Use synonyms
 and gardens
instead
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 of building houses and shelters the best solution available? In the upcoming paragraphs , we will discuss
this
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 subject and give opinions about it , including mine.
Body paragraph 1
Countries with huge
spaces
Use synonyms
 like deserts or even mountains could be a good environment to build in some resorts or even homes,
Furthermore
Linking Words
 too many
spaces
Use synonyms
 are on the world
also
Linking Words
 the number of population in the world is exceptionally prodigious so governments should definitely start on the ideas of where to start the real estates and contact the people who work in the construction field to start planning ahead for their next generation and for the current ones.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, People who is thinking of green
spaces
Use synonyms
 and parks they have their own prospective of looking into things because nature could be an enormous beneficial resource to countries to exemplify, Green
spaces
Use synonyms
 would decrease the heat of the sun not only that it can
also
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 help with livestock cows anything related to animals because they will be comfort in a zone that has their needs,
Moreover
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 it will attract tourists to countries
for example
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 London it has too many green colourful hills and insanely forests another example about maine in the united states it has a gorgeous jungles
to sum up
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 green
spaces
Use synonyms
 and parks gives places a good value
also
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 making it beautiful
Conclusion
In conclusion, my opinion is that if the population is demanding housing, they should
then
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 make it their top priority because citizen comes first.

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task response
Discuss both sides in a more even way. Explain why homes are needed in city spaces, then explain why parks are needed. Make your own view clear in the first part and repeat it in the end.
task response
Give more direct reasons for building homes in empty city land, such as lower house prices, shorter trips to work, and help for low-income families. The ideas about deserts, mountains, and resorts are not close to the main question.
task response
Develop the parks side with clear links to city life. For example, parks give people space to walk, play, rest, and stay cool in hot weather. Explain how this helps people who live in cities.
task response
Use examples that fit the point. London is a better example if you name a park, such as Hyde Park, and say how it helps people in the city. Avoid broad claims about forests and hills.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduction, homes view, parks view, and conclusion. Start each main part with one clear topic sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main idea. The first main paragraph moves from deserts and mountains to population and building plans. Focus instead on empty land inside towns and cities.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words used in the right way: 'First', 'For example', 'However', 'As a result', and 'In my view'. Do not join many different ideas in one very long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last sentence stronger. State whether homes should come first in most cases, and add one limit, such as keeping some land for parks or building homes on unused land first.
task response
You discuss both homes and green spaces, and you give your own view in the conclusion.
task response
You include useful ideas about the need for housing when the population grows, and about parks helping nature and animals.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main parts, and a conclusion, so the reader can follow the main shape of your answer.
coherence and cohesion
You use signposts such as 'On the other hand' and 'In conclusion' to show a change of view and the final opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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