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Writing Samples
Band 4

Success in life depends on hard work and determination, or on other factors like money and personal appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance
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It is believed that
success
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 is due to hard work and
determination
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 to reach
the
Correct article usage
apply
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goals.
However
Linking Words
, others argue that it can be seen by visual appearance and wealth. I suppose that it depends on our effort and how we could enjoy the process.
Firstly
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, it is hard to generalize the definition of
success
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, every person has their own aims and steps. They should not give up no matter what happens, they have already known what the consequences are.
Thus
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, they put
hard
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in hard
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 work and remember that strong
determination
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 in each process. The more hard work and
determination
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is
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apply
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the more satisfying that achievement. I do believe that successful
people
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 who could gain value and learn more, do not measure their
success
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 by the materials involving money and how luxurious their lifestyle is.
Nevertheless
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, some think that fashion and money have the main role to judge how convenient
people
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 live. It is invisible
for
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to
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 some societies that wealthy
people
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 are successful because they could
fulfill
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fulfil
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 their lifestyle properly.
Then
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, it depicts that they have gotten a high level of life probably
by
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through
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 their businesses. Interestingly, many citizens try to pretend as rich
people
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 to gain attention and high status in their surroundings.
This
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 is a negative effect when
success
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 is described by personal appearance. To conclude, it seems to me that
success
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 should not be measured by visuals and money they have, which might be temporary for them
,
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apply
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 while being a
high quality
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high-quality
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 person through
determination
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 and
Correct your spelling
hard work
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 is the
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
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long lasting
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long-lasting
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 definition of
success
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.
Submitted by wittydrain on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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