In many countries traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. Some claim that this has negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the development of international relations between countries is rising up. Some
countries
Add a verb
arecountries
werecountries
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interested to consume international
cuisine
instead
of the traditional one. societies believe that
this
condition brings
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
impact on their families and societies. I personally agree with
this
statement. Many international restaurants opened in a
country
are fast
food
types.
This
kind of meal is not good for people's health.
for example
, in my
country
,
Indonesia
, there are international
food
franchises like McDonald's, Domino Pizza, Pizza Hut, and
KFC
. All of them sell unhealthy cooking. Another reason is community begin to love other
country's
Fix the agreement mistake
countries'
show examples
food
not because of the taste but solely because of trends and lifestyle. They think buying international
food
is cool than consuming their own made of
meal
Add an article
the meal
a meal
show examples
. If
this
phenomena
Change the determiner
phenomenon
show examples
keeps continuing, it would make traditional restaurants become less popular.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
later
Correct article usage
a later
show examples
time, they will close the shop because they can not afford to buy cooking materials.
Furthermore
, the economy of
this
country
will decrease due to more people closed their businesses, But, is eating international
cuisine
always give bad effects on their
country
? not necessarily true. In some cases, it gives a nice opportunity for a
country
to maintain a good relationship with another
country
by selling other countries'
cuisine
.
For example
,
KFC
opened in some regions in
Indonesia
.
KFC
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
originated in the USA.
Therefore
, opening a
KFC
franchise in
Indonesia
will keep a good relationship between
Indonesia
and USA. in conclusion, I think replacing traditional
cuisine
with international fast
food
give negative impacts on societies ,especially on people's health.
Although
sometimes it does has a good side.
Submitted by serlyayus on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • nutritional value
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart diseases
  • family mealtime traditions
  • local economies
  • carbon footprint
  • culinary skills
  • homogenization
  • globalization
  • convenient
  • accessible meals
  • traditional cuisine
  • fast-paced lifestyle
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