IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

#world #towns #cities #centuries #people #times
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When compared with the current
generation
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, the previous
generation
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 buildings are most comfortable
as well as
Linking Words
 it was liveable for the
last
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generation
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 people. Because of the rise in population
level
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 and the residence size affected the people’s comfort
level
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. Fortunately, these problems can be resolved by renovating the existing
house
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 with the latest automation and modern design of the
house
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. Starting with the problem point of view, in those days, the public controlled their population
level
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, and they built their residence
according to
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 their family size, but now citizens are willing to expand their family size, but they are not expanding their
house
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 area.
As a result
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, it made them feel uncomfortable. Apart from that, the cost of living in the previous years is much more affordable for everyone. Unfortunately,
this
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generation
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 cannot afford it like before because of the rise in the
inflation
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 rate.
For example
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, most financial advisors said that the economic value of the country dropped drastically when compared with the past decade.
Furthermore
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, these issues can be solved by using various methods.
First,
Linking Words
the public can utilize modern techniques for modern problems.
For example
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of spending too much amount on expanding their
house
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, they can renovate with the latest technology and furniture.
Hence
Linking Words
, they can live comfortably.
Second,
Linking Words
to avoid the
inflation
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 effect, they can invest in
gold
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 and
gold
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 bonds which help them to save from
inflation
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 without taking any type of risk.
For instance
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, most history teachers said that previous generations of people liked to invest in
gold
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 because it was the ideal tool to avoid
inflation
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 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provided a constant profit. In conclusion, the rise in
inflation
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 and the population
level
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 are the major problems of the current scenario. Fortunately, to avoid these issues, they can utilize modern financial schemes and investing in
gold
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 will enable them to live comfortably without compromising their financial
level
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.
Submitted by jeeveshkb22 on

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Coherence
To enhance clarity, ensure your essay has a clear distinction between problems and solutions within paragraphs. Avoid mixing them to maintain a logical flow.
Cohesion
Try to incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Response
Ensure a more balanced development of ideas by evenly discussing both problems and solutions related to the topic.
Grammar
Pay attention to verb tense consistency to avoid confusion. For example, maintain the same tense when discussing current conditions unless referring to a change over time.
Lexical Resource
Work on refining your vocabulary to include more precise and varied language. This will improve the overall quality of your argument and make your essay more engaging.
Structure
You provided a structured approach to addressing the problems and proposed solutions, which aids in maintaining a logical flow throughout the essay.
Examples
You included specific examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your task response.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarized the main points and reiterated the potential solutions, reinforcing your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overcrowding
  • infrastructure
  • traffic congestion
  • housing shortages
  • degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • energy efficiency
  • carbon footprint
  • accessibility
  • sustainable urban planning
  • smart city technologies
  • green technology
  • regulations
  • sustainable
  • integrated
  • public transportation
  • pedestrian
  • cycling infrastructure
  • reliance
  • mitigate
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