IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many parents feel that cell phones are harmful to children, while others do not. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that the main impact of having
cell
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phones
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 for kids is arguable. It is widely believed that mobiles are harmful to
children
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.
However
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, there are a lot of people against
this
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 statement.
This
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 essay will explain why
children
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 should have mobile
phones
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.
First
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 of all,
cell
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phones
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 can be an extra source for learning.
This
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 is because of the plethora of electronic books that are available,
moreover
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, more than 70 % of them are free of charge.
Additionally
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, a recent study shows that learning from devices is two times faster than books.
For instance
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, most young
children
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 presently know the numbers and colours even before going to school.
Secondly
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,
phones
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 play a key role in terms of reachability and emergencies.
This
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 means that when a boy or a girl could not find his\her parents at a big mall, simply he\she can use the phone and call them. When it comes to emergencies,
last
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 month,
for example
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, a child managed to save his house from burning by using his
cell
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 phone in order to call the police at the right time.
In contrast
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, a lot of fathers and mothers refuse to give their
children
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 a phone because of addiction and inappropriate advertisements. Despite that there are plenty of good sides to mobile, some kids cannot leave it at all,
this
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 resulted in addiction and
thus
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 increases the chance of autism.
Furthermore
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, the inability to control the advertisements is something that deserves to be considered when giving a MobilePhone to kids. To conclude,
although
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cell
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phones
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 have a dark side like contributing to addiction which sometimes leads to autism, still the beneficial sides of mobiles in learning and acting in emergencies outweigh them in my opinion.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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