In some countries, owning a home rather than rent is important for people. Why is this the case? Do you think that this is a positive or negative situation?
In certain nations, it is commonly suggested that
individuals
should own their own homes rather than Use synonyms
renting
since, in these Replace the word
rent
countries
, local real estate agencies and governments often collaborate to offer enticing incentives that take advantage of Use synonyms
individuals
. Use synonyms
However
, I personally believe that Linking Words
this
is not a practical or cost-effective solution. Linking Words
Instead
, living in affordable rental houses or apartments enables Linking Words
individuals
to allocate their resources towards other important endeavours. In the following paragraphs, I will provide examples to support Use synonyms
this
argument.
In many Linking Words
countries
where Use synonyms
home
ownership is encouraged, Use synonyms
individuals
are often led to believe that owning a house and raising a family are the most important aspects of life. Use synonyms
However
, with the rise of social media and online information platforms, Linking Words
such
as Facebook and YouTube, Linking Words
individuals
are beginning to recognize that there are other lifestyles that are just as valid. In fact, in developed Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
such
as the United States, Britain, and Japan, there are now more couples without children or single households than ever before. Linking Words
Furthermore
, a recent survey in Japan in 2023 revealed that the most common reason for not owning a house was the desire to travel and gain new experiences.
Linking Words
In addition
, governments and real estate agencies often prioritize revenue generation over their citizens' well-being. They view the purchase of houses in certain prefectures or Linking Words
countries
as an opportunity to increase tax revenue. Use synonyms
Consequently
, the focus is on revenue rather than the happiness of the people. Linking Words
For example
, one advantage of owning a Linking Words
home
is the stability it provides and the strong sense of community that develops between local residents. Use synonyms
However
, in reality, many Linking Words
individuals
are forced to sell their homes at a lower price than Use synonyms
initially
purchased, particularly towards the end of their lives. Linking Words
This
situation frequently leads to feelings of sadness and depression, especially among elderly Linking Words
individuals
who witness disputes over household rights between their siblings. Use synonyms
Moreover
, the necessity to work diligently in order to purchase a Linking Words
home
often results in a fruitless sale in the end.
In summary, Use synonyms
although
some people still believe that owning a Linking Words
home
is a symbol of a good living standard, an increasing number of Use synonyms
individuals
are becoming aware of Use synonyms
this
misconception through the use of the internet. The government should work Linking Words
together with
real estate agencies to address Linking Words
this
issue in a manner that enables more Linking Words
individuals
to live happily and comfortably until the end of their lives.Use synonyms
Submitted by kana_ayaki on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While the essay provides a complete response to the prompt, the connection of incentives from local real estate agencies and governments to the argument could be made clearer and more direct.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph centers around a single main point and that this point directly supports your thesis. The idea of social media influencing life choices could be more explicitly tied to the argument against home ownership.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains transitions between paragraphs, but ensure these transitions clearly indicate how each paragraph builds on the previous one. More explicit linking phrases could help achieve this.
task achievement
Whenever providing examples such as the survey in Japan, make sure these examples are directly linked back to your main argument to ensure they are seen as relevant and supportive.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion by clearly stating your viewpoint and what the essay will cover.
clear comprehensive ideas
You adeptly cover multiple aspects of why renting might be preferable to owning a home, showing breadth in your assessment.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.