IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Despite improvements in vehicle technology, there are still large numbers of road accidents. Explain some of the causes of these accidents and suggest some measures that could be address the problem.

Despite improvements in-vehicle technology, there are still large numbers of
road
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accidents
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. Explain some of the causes of these
accidents
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 and suggest some measures that could address the problem. Even though the safety performance of vehicles is getting better than before, the rates of
road
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traffic
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accidents
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 are still high.
This
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 essay will analyze the reasons behind
this
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 issue before presenting a feasible solution to it. There are two fundamental factors responsible for
this
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 trend. The
first
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 reason is that there are more and more cars on the
road
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. In many countries, people’s income levels have been rising steadily, while car prices are gradually decreasing. Each family can afford two or even more cars.
This
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 trend will lead to heavier
road
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 congestion and
further
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 lead to a higher rate of
traffic
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accidents
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. The
second
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 factor is that there are many drivers who use mobile phones while driving.
This
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 kind of behaviour is very dangerous because drivers are easily distracted by using mobile phones while driving.
As a result
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,
traffic
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accidents
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 will happen. To deal with
this
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 situation, two practical approaches can be adopted.
First
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 of all, the government should improve public transport services available to citizens, especially commuters.
For example
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, by proving convenient and affordable underground and bus services, the government can significantly reduce people’s dependence on cars and
traffic
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 on roads.
Furthermore
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, governments should enact stricter
road
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traffic
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 laws and punishments.
For example
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, if drivers break
traffic
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 laws, they will be fined and sent to driver awareness courses. In
this
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 case, people will be more disciplined and that they follow the rules more carefully.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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