Nowadays more and more young people hold the important position in the goverment. Some people think it is good, whiles other argue that it is not suitable. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

The

efficient

Replace the word

efficiency

show examples

of young

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

leadership in all the

sector

Fix the agreement mistake

sectors

show examples

of bureaucracy is debatable and it is increasingly becoming popular. Many

people

Use synonyms

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

a belief that it is good for a

nation

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

other

people

Use synonyms

think it is inadequate. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I shall analyse both perspectives and aI personally side with the former view. The main reason why some

people

Use synonyms

are in favour of young blood holding

the

Correct article usage

show examples

vital position in the government is that young

people

Use synonyms

have more energy to work for a

nation

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, they are more enthusiastic and jealous than others which helps them to tackle any tough situation easily.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they are more willing to try new things and inventions which may lead a provincial forward and help to develop

economic

Add an article

the economic

show examples

and structural

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

, younger pupils have more spirit than older to work. In my town 5 years ago, we have a 70 years old city councillor who has lots of physical diseases and most of the time he lives in a hospital. His illness becomes a carrier of our

city

Change noun form

city's

show examples

development. But now we have a councillor who is 32 years old and have more fit to work for shining our city. S, if a country wants to exuberant their situation in the world, they have to include more and more

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

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in authority.

Conversely

Linking Words

, other

population

Change the wording

populations

show examples

think that folk who are young and leading significant post

Change preposition

show examples

state administration is not perfect because they have a higher possibility of making huge fault by them.

This

Linking Words

may lead to a country under global pressure. Youngsters have less mind to understand any big issue.

Moreover

Linking Words

, that have lack experience than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

older citizens. Because

Correct pronoun usage

thisof

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they can easily mistake any vital issue that could cost a country. A few days ago, another state councillor of my

nation

Use synonyms

who is young made a mistake due to his less experienced to take any right decision at the right time resulting in 50 dwellers who lived in that place

died

Wrong verb form

dying

show examples

. For

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

reasons

Add a comma

show examples

some think it is

bot

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

suitable for

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

. To sum up, in present days holding an important part of administration by young

people

Use synonyms

is increasingly popular.

Although

Linking Words

there are many

people

Use synonyms

who think it is a positive turn, other

people

Use synonyms

argued with them. Discussing both views I find that the negative side of

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

leading youngsters is completely negligible with positive aspects. I think the more young

people

Use synonyms

have a

nation

Use synonyms

in the main position, the greater development there will be.

ahmedshahriar448

Jul 4, 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

419 words

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Nowadays more and more young people hold the important position in the goverment. Some people think it is good, whiles other argue that it is not suitable. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

The tourist industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. To what extent do you agree or disagree.