"Mothers play key roles in the upbringings of children. But in the recent times both parents are getting busy with professional life. Who, in your opinion, should take the responsibility of childcare now?"

Five decades ago it was normal that the
men
worked 5 days a week and that the
women
stayed home and took care of the kids.
However
, nowadays
parents
are
both
busy with their jobs. In
this
essay, I will discuss who should take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childcare and why. No one would dispute the fact that mothers play an important role in the raising of children. These days
women
got way more opportunities.
For example
, a recent survey suggested that 80% of
the
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apply
show examples
young
women
went to college and have a
fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
/
Correct your spelling
part-time
partime
Correct your spelling
parttime
part time
job, in comparison with 50 years ago
this
number was only 40%. In my point of view, it is a good thing that
also
women
can pursue their careers
instead
of only
men
. It was always an image that the
men
should bring in all the money, but
this
image is slowly disappearing. A very good example is an interview that was done among young
men
, it showed that
men
also
want to care for the
child
and not work full-time. I think that
this
is a good thing, due to the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
of interaction with the
child
at a young age.
This
interaction helps a lot with the bond of the
child
. To conclude, I believe that there is not one parent who should take responsibility for childcare. But it is a good thing that the
women
are working more and the
men
are working less. The ideal situation is that
both
parents
take care of the childcare so that
both
parents
can have a good bond with the
child
.
For instance
,
both
parents
have a
4 day
Add a hyphen
4-day
show examples
working week which results in each parent have got one day with the children.
Submitted by luuk.boot on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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