Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in the vacant areas of city and towns, while others say housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

It is said that planting
trees
is an important activity for the protection of the environment. Numerous humans think
trees
should be planted in the vacant spaces of cities and towns,
while
others think housing amenities should be built alternatively. In my experience, I prefer planting greenery to building housing amenities because of some pros and cons.
First,
many cities in my country lack accommodation for residents, so building living
facilities
is an appropriate choice. Ho Chi Minh
city
Capitalize word
City
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, which is the largest city in
Viet Nam
Correct your spelling
Vietnam
show examples
, had 13 million residents in 2021.
According to
research published in the Vnexpress journal in 2021, not only half of its people lacked living places, but
also
many of Its districts lacked educational, medical, and other basic living
facilities
. In recent years, the government have invested in many projects which focused on providing private accommodation for immediate-income workers, low-income workers, and government staff. And many standard living
facilities
have been built to serve human living. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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hand, increasing the greenery spaces is the main project which aims to protect our planet.
Although
we
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
many environmental laws, the deforestation process has increased obviously.
While
the punishment is light, the benefits from the forest are so high. In my province, which is located in a mountainous area, despite many planting
trees
activities, It had reduced 50% of forest from 2000 to 2021. In conclusion,
while
building housing
facilities
has some advantages, planting
trees
is aimed at
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
huge purpose of protecting our planet. I think that we should use almost vacant spaces for planting
trees
.
Submitted by ntlanh92 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen your argument by providing a clearer line of reasoning. While you mentioned both sides of the argument, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to show a logical progression of ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, ensure they clearly mirror each other. The conclusion should summarize the main points more explicitly.
Task Achievement
Ensure that all key points and advantages or disadvantages are well-supported with relevant examples. Consider including counterarguments to display a balanced perspective.
Task Achievement
Clarify your position more comprehensively in the introduction and maintain it consistently throughout. This helps guide the reader and adds depth to your task response.
Task Achievement
You provided specific examples, such as citing Ho Chi Minh City, which provided relevance and context to your point about housing scarcity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion summarizing your stance on the issue.
Task Achievement
You addressed the task prompt and provided arguments on both sides of the issue.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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