IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in the vacant areas of city and towns, while others say housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#trees #environment #people #areas #city #towns #facilities
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It is said that planting
trees
 is an important activity for the protection of the environment. Numerous humans think
trees
 should be planted in the vacant spaces of cities and towns,
while
 others think housing amenities should be built alternatively. In my experience, I prefer planting greenery to building housing amenities because of some pros and cons.
First,
many cities in my country lack accommodation for residents, so building living
facilities
 is an appropriate choice. Ho Chi Minh
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
, which is the largest city in
Viet Nam
Correct your spelling
Vietnam
show examples
, had 13 million residents in 2021.
According to
 research published in the Vnexpress journal in 2021, not only half of its people lacked living places, but
also
 many of Its districts lacked educational, medical, and other basic living
facilities
. In recent years, the government have invested in many projects which focused on providing private accommodation for immediate-income workers, low-income workers, and government staff. And many standard living
facilities
 have been built to serve human living. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, increasing the greenery spaces is the main project which aims to protect our planet.
Although
 we
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 many environmental laws, the deforestation process has increased obviously.
While
 the punishment is light, the benefits from the forest are so high. In my province, which is located in a mountainous area, despite many planting
trees
 activities, It had reduced 50% of forest from 2000 to 2021. In conclusion,
while
 building housing
facilities
 has some advantages, planting
trees
 is aimed at
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 huge purpose of protecting our planet. I think that we should use almost vacant spaces for planting
trees
.
Submitted by ntlanh92 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen your argument by providing a clearer line of reasoning. While you mentioned both sides of the argument, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to show a logical progression of ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, ensure they clearly mirror each other. The conclusion should summarize the main points more explicitly.
Task Achievement
Ensure that all key points and advantages or disadvantages are well-supported with relevant examples. Consider including counterarguments to display a balanced perspective.
Task Achievement
Clarify your position more comprehensively in the introduction and maintain it consistently throughout. This helps guide the reader and adds depth to your task response.
Task Achievement
You provided specific examples, such as citing Ho Chi Minh City, which provided relevance and context to your point about housing scarcity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion summarizing your stance on the issue.
Task Achievement
You addressed the task prompt and provided arguments on both sides of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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