Some people think sport competition creates many trouble while others disagree. Discuss your views and give your opinion

#people #sport #competition #trouble

These days

people

are more interested in sports competitions. Some

people

think, that they cause many troubles while

on the other hand

others argue, that it doesn’t cause any problems. I completely opine that its advantages are more than its drawbacks.

This

essay will state some valid evidence for the same. To embark, to advance a convincing theory I could deal with, Olympic. The

first

thing I should mention is, getting familiar with other cultures. Their mindset, foods, rules and etcetera. Going on to my

point which is, the income that it has for the government. Due to the large number of tourists that travel there to watch the game, hotels will be full of

people

also

individuals pay money for food, sightseeing, museums and shopping.

In addition

to what I have just said, it will improve teamwork. Each team try their best to win the game.

Additionally

, it is a positive competition. Another feature which I could mention is,

sports

Correct word choice

that sports

show examples

competitions, encourage

people

to go to the gym and have a healthy body. In the forthcoming paragraphs; I could deal with its disadvantages.

Although

it has many benefits, in some ways it has some ill effects.

Firstly

, cultural shock.

For instance

, when you travel to India, everything there is strange for you. They pee in the middle of the street. They

also

honk a lot. Another example here is

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the football games in England. It was written in a report that they fight and each time they hit the officers too. They even destroy the stadium. To conclude, all in all, there are a lot of benefits related to

this

Submitted by s.pantea.rahnama on Thu Jul 07 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think sport competition creates many trouble while others disagree. Discuss your views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the dveloped world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweets and sugary snacks should not be allowed in schools and colleges. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Competitiveness is generally considered a good quality for people to have in society. Do you think it is a positive development or negative trend? how does competitiveness affect individuals?

Many countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. Why do they think so? What can be done to change their views

18.Some people say that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

‘The Internet will never replace traditional course books in schools.’ How far do you agree with this prediction?