Some people say that what children watch on TV influences their behavior while others say the amount of time children spend watching TV influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In contemporary society, the debate surrounds whether the behaviours of
children
change
according to
what they watch versus how much
time
they spend looking at
TV
.
Although
it negatively affects
children
's behaviours in accordance with what they watch, it is
also
true that their characters change depending on how much
time
they spend watching
TV
, as they can lose interest in physical activities.   By watching
films
on
TV
,
children
's
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
may change greatly. As
films
contain unexpected actions like violence or humiliation, it may impact them, and they may behave in
such
a way in the future.
Additionally
, it is not recommended for
children
to watch screens as it can be addictive.
For instance
,
children
who used to watch different shows and
films
became more addicted to
TV
, and scientists
also
noticed that it could lead to increased anxiety.
Thus
, as watching different kinds of
films
can negatively affect
children
's way of behaving, it is better if they do not watch anything.    
On the other hand
, excessive screen
time
may have a negative effect on the way of acting, like refusing to go outside. Spending too much
time
watching
TV
can reduce the amount of physical activity
children
engage in, leading to a sedentary lifestyle that can contribute to obesity and other health problems.
Children
who spend too much
time
watching
TV
may be less likely to engage in physical activities like playing outside, riding bikes, or participating in sports, which are important for their physical and mental health.
For example
,
according to
scientists, excessive
TV
watching can impact mental health by reducing the release of endorphins and other "feel-good" hormones that are typically increased during physical activities.
Therefore
, overwatching has many negative effects on
children
, and it might cause obesity
due to
a lack of physical activity.    In conclusion, both overwatching and what they watch have negative effects,
such
as increased anxiety and obesity. In my view, if parents control what their
children
are watching or how much
time
they are spending, it may decrease the negative effects on attitude.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Make sure to include clear, specific examples to support your main points. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates your understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating more logical connections between ideas and paragraphs. This will help in presenting your argument more clearly and cohesively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This clarity will enhance the overall structure and readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, summarizing the topic and your viewpoint effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed both views of the topic, showing a balanced understanding and providing a fair discussion.

Your opinion

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