IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People these days watch TV, films and other programs alone rather than with other people. Do this advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #tv #films #programs
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Essay 1 There are different sources available to gather
information
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
newspapers
Use synonyms
, television and other online resources.
However
Linking Words
,It is often thought that
newspapers
Use synonyms
 are the best medium to get
news
Use synonyms
, while others trust
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
other alternatives. I firmly believe that
newspapers
Use synonyms
 got
Correct your spelling
outdated
show examples
out dated
Correct your spelling
outdated
show examples
 compared to other modern mediums like television, and other online mediums. Tremendous changes happen in the way we communicate and gather
information
Use synonyms
. Earlier it was done only by printed media and it is a widely accepted source of
information
Use synonyms
 globally and nationally as well .
News
Use synonyms
 from different streams is given in daily
newspapers
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
,
news
Use synonyms
 and updates about
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
,
economic
Replace the word
economics
show examples
, health and developments.
Besides
Linking Words
, there are authentic sources of
information
Use synonyms
for instance
Linking Words
 data given in
newspapers
Use synonyms
 are referential. In spite of, its wide range of acceptance, it got outdated by some other modern technologies. Modern ways to get informed are more accepted because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 speed and convenience. In place of
long awaited
Add a hyphen
long-awaited
show examples
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
 for
further
Linking Words
 updates online
news
Use synonyms
 portals, Television
news
Use synonyms
 portals and other online resources became
fastest
Correct article usage
the fastest
show examples
 broadcasters with live updates.
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 the money we spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
newspapers
Use synonyms
 is reduced by modern facilities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, through
networking
Add a comma
,networking
show examples
 we get access to different sources of
information
Use synonyms
 at a time with less effort and expense in comparison with printed media within a fraction of a
second
Linking Words
.
Finally
Linking Words
, despite the monotonous reading,
news
Use synonyms
 channels provide
information
Use synonyms
 with the support of audiovisual data. To conclude,
newspapers
Use synonyms
 put a legacy in the path of gathering
information
Use synonyms
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 other advanced ways
serves
Change the verb form
serve
show examples
 better.
Submitted by navyajose09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: