There are many different types of music in the world today.why do we need music?is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that isheard everewhere nowadays?

It is true that in recent years, an increasing number of different types of

music

Use synonyms

have been introduced bu popular singers around the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

world.

Therefore

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

is a real passion of many human cultures for a range of reasons.In my opinion,traditional pieces of

music

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more important than international ones.

Music

Use synonyms

is something that cheers all of us up throughout our lives.It could really put people in a pleasant mood even in hard times

which

Correct word choice

that

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anyone experiences in life.As children,we are all taught something by our teachers or parents as a means of learning languages or as a form of enjoyment.

Therefore

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,children delight in singing with children

this

Linking Words

fact leads to creating a great connection between participants ,regardless of their age.Later in life,when they become older, pieces of

music

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becomes

Correct subject-verb agreement

become

show examples

a vital part of their life stories.

Music

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and its lyrics indicate great emotions in a way that words alone could not express them.

Hence

Linking Words

,it has been recognized

why

Correct word choice

that

show examples

music

Use synonyms

can be a key role in many of our lives.

Although

Linking Words

several international performances have been much popular ,traditional ones should be known .

Firstly

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traditional

music

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alone expresses the culture and history of a country.

Therefore

Linking Words

,some

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show examples

the traditional styles with traditional instruments like’Setar’ or ‘The Tar’ connect us to the past and they can identify our culture.

Secondly

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,if traditional

music

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will be supported more than international pop

music

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which ,by the

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apply

show examples

way are often catchy,many local musicians and producers can enhance their career in

this

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way .,

Also

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they can provide high-quality pieces of

music

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with strong lyrics

then

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Thus

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, the

music

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industry will be improved and attract many youths in

this

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field.

Finally

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,it would be a real pity ,if international

music

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become so predominated that these national styles disappeared.7 In conclusion,

music

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is a necessary part of human joy due to its importance in human moods.In my opinion,the traditional style has more importance than the international one.

TUTOO

Jul 11, 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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There are many different types of music in the world today.why do we need music?is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that isheard everewhere nowadays?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Memorising facts is the most important way to succeed in education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think students should be encouraged to evaluate their teachers, while others think this may lead to the loss of respect for teachers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that to lead a successful life, a university degree is important. Others believe that this is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The arts, including art, music and theatre are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyles? Should the arts be included in the school curriculum?

Today many people work until the late age. Do advantages outweight the disadvantages?