IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Studies show that crime rates are lower among those with education degrees. Therefore the best way to reduce the crime rate is to educate criminals but they are still enough reason. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that since
crime
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rates
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 tend to be lower among
individuals
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 with higher levels of
education
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, educating criminals is the most effective method for reducing
crime
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.
While
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 I agree that
education
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 plays a vital role in tackling criminal
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
, I believe it is not the only nor always the most effective solution. A multifaceted approach is essential to address the deeper social, psychological, and economic roots of
crime
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. Admittedly,
education
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 has a powerful influence on reducing criminal tendencies.
To begin
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 with,
individuals
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 who attain higher
education
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 are more likely to secure stable employment and build productive lives, reducing the temptation or necessity to engage in illegal activities.
Moreover
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,
education
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 enhances critical thinking, empathy, and decision-making skills, which can help
individuals
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 better understand the consequences of their actions.
For instance
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, prison
education
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 programs in some countries have successfully lowered reoffending
rates
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, demonstrating the rehabilitative power of knowledge.
Nevertheless
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, to claim that
education
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 alone is the best way to lower
crime
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rates
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 is an oversimplification.
Firstly
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, not all crimes are driven by ignorance or lack of opportunity. Crimes
such
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 as fraud, cybercrime, or corporate misconduct are often committed by educated
individuals
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.
This
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 illustrates that
education
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 does not necessarily eliminate criminal intent.
Furthermore
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, many offenders face issues
such
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 as mental illness, substance abuse, or traumatic upbringings—problems that
education
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 alone cannot solve. In
such
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 cases, psychological
counseling
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counselling
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, addiction treatment, and social support are equally, if not more, essential.
In addition
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, there are logistical and financial challenges involved in educating large prison populations. Not all prisoners may be willing or able to pursue
education
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, and
prioritizing
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prioritising
show examples
this
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 above other reforms could divert resources from areas like
crime
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 prevention, community policing, or rehabilitation through vocational training. All things considered,
while
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 educating criminals can be a highly effective tool in reducing
crime
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, it should not be viewed as a one-size-fits-all solution. A combination of
education
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, social services, mental health care, and systemic reforms is needed to address the multifaceted nature of criminal
behavior
Use the right word
behaviour
show examples
. In conclusion, I partly agree with the idea that educating criminals can help lower
crime
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rates
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.
However
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, for long-term, sustainable results, it should be one component of a broader, more holistic strategy to prevent and reduce
crime
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.

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Task Response
Your introduction clearly states your position and sets the stage for your argument. Ensure that your thesis statement is precise.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your points are well-structured, occasionally the flow between ideas can be smoother. Use more linking words (e.g., 'however', 'furthermore').
Task Response
You provide good examples to support your points. Try to include even more specific real-life cases or data to strengthen your arguments.
Task Response
You present balanced viewpoints, which shows critical thinking.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is logically organized with clear main points, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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