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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that universities should only accept students with the highest marks, while others believe that all students should be given a chance to attend. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In recent years,
while
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 some people and I argue that colleges should be selective in their acceptance
critaria
Correct your spelling
criteria
 based on high grades, others support that all
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 should have the chance to choose their dream
collage
Use the right word
college
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.
both
Fix capitalization
Both
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 points of view will be discussed below,
along with
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 my opinion. On the one hand, some individuals claim that school should be available for all
students
Use synonyms
.
In other words
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, if
students
Use synonyms
 have the right to choose what they want to study based on their passion, their creativity will increase because they love the topics that they study.
For example
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, some
students
Use synonyms
 start learning programming through YouTube or any other platform, and work as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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freelancers because they love that career more
that
Correct word choice
than
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 what they study at
collage
Use the right word
college
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.
Thus
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, what can be said is that some people become more successful when they start their dream job,
enven
Correct your spelling
even
 if they did not get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
scores
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
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 high school.
On the other hand
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, many
universities
Use synonyms
 put requirements
such
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 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
scores
Use synonyms
 to limit the number of
students
Use synonyms
 that they can accept. To elaborate, when those
universities
Use synonyms
 put a requirement, they need to build a
competititon
Correct your spelling
competition
 between
students
Use synonyms
 to work harder to
ahcieve
Correct your spelling
achieve
 those
scores
Use synonyms
.
This
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 to build many soft skills
such
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 as
work
Replace the word
working
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 under stress, and to be more
comitment
Correct your spelling
committed
.
For
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instance
Add a comma
instance,
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Harverd university
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Harvard University
,
whcich
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which
one
Verb problem
is one
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 of the top
universities
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 around the world,
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
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 high graduate
scores
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 in order to apply for a master's degree because it has limited seats. Not only
does
Verb problem
is
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rivary
Correct your spelling
it
 important, but it
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also is
Correct word order
is also
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 fair to select the most competent
studnets
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students
.
To conclude
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, I firmly believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should
to
Verb problem
apply
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tray
Use the right word
try
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 as much as they can to fit university requirements that they apply for.
Additionally
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,
universities
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 should make their lectures
avilable
Correct your spelling
available
 online to be accessed by others.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion. This will help strengthen your position and provide a clearer answer to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words to connect your thoughts more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Check spelling and grammar, especially for common words like 'college' and 'achieve.' Correct spelling increases the clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument well, and your examples are relevant to the topic.
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