IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People often donot interact with their neighbours and this is harming communities. What are the possible causes and solutions.

#people #donot #neighbours #communities
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Urbanization
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becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
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 faster and wider nowadays. There has been a surge in
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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leaving their hometowns
for reaching
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to reach
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 a better life in urban.
As a result
Linking Words
 of rapid
urbanization
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 , a lot of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 left their occupations in the countryside . The rural
area
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 as a base of production of agricultural products
such
Linking Words
 as vegetables , rice, fruit, and grain , becomes less populated. Meanwhile, urban
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areas
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area
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 and big
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cities
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city
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 become more crowded. In the long term , it will bring unfavourable
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impacts
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impact
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impacts
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 both for the village and
Correct article usage
the
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Correct article usage
the
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city
Use synonyms
 .
Government
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 and society have to take serious action to stop the unplanned migration. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
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 effect of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon and provide a way
out
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apply
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to reduce
this
Linking Words
 trend. Many negative impacts are caused by rapid
urbanization
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 .
For
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In
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destination
Correct article usage
the destination
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city
Use synonyms
 , the population will become more crowded. People tend to experience higher competition in order to get an appropriate life. Space for a living gets more expensive and unreachable for some citizens . Meanwhile, the workforce decreased in the original
area
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 that was left by the workforce who decided to move to the
city
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 . It caused a lack of labour in agricultural-related fields in the village . The agricultural commodities will drop and lead to a mismatch between supply and demand in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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farming products . Supply of rice, fruit,
vegetable
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vegetables
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, and grain will be scarce and the price will soar.
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Government
Correct article usage
The government
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should
put
Verb problem
raise
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 awareness of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon . There are some solutions that can be provided to prevent massive
urbanization
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 in the future. First , the
government
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 must allocate a sufficient budget to develop the rural
area
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 . The development of the rural
area
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 will provide tons of new work fields for people in the village so the villagers don't have to come to
Add an article
the
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city
Use synonyms
 in order to get the appropriate occupations . Another solution that can be constructed by
Add an article
the
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government
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 is
incentive
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incentives
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.
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Government
Correct article usage
The government
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can give
incentive
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incentives
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for improving agriculture/farming industries in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rural
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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area
Use synonyms
 . The scheme can be a subsidy
of
Change preposition
for
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 farming tools and materials or can be a workshop /educational program to improve the knowledge and skills of the farmer . The cooperation and commitment of
government
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 and society can reduce rapid migration by providing more work fields and improving farming industries in rural.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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