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Writing Samples /
Band 4

People often donot interact with their neighbours and this is harming communities. What are the possible causes and solutions.

#people #donot #neighbours #communities
Urbanization
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
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 faster and wider nowadays. There has been a surge in
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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leaving their hometowns
for reaching
Change preposition
to reach
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 a better life in urban.
As a result
 of rapid
urbanization
 , a lot of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 left their occupations in the countryside . The rural
area
 as a base of production of agricultural products
such
 as vegetables , rice, fruit, and grain , becomes less populated. Meanwhile, urban
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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area
 and big
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
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city
 become more crowded. In the long term , it will bring unfavourable
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
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impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
 both for the village and
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Correct article usage
the
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city
 .
Government
 and society have to take serious action to stop the unplanned migration. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 effect of
this
 phenomenon and provide a way
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to reduce
this
 trend. Many negative impacts are caused by rapid
urbanization
 .
For
Change preposition
In
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destination
Correct article usage
the destination
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city
 , the population will become more crowded. People tend to experience higher competition in order to get an appropriate life. Space for a living gets more expensive and unreachable for some citizens . Meanwhile, the workforce decreased in the original
area
 that was left by the workforce who decided to move to the
city
 . It caused a lack of labour in agricultural-related fields in the village . The agricultural commodities will drop and lead to a mismatch between supply and demand in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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farming products . Supply of rice, fruit,
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
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, and grain will be scarce and the price will soar.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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should
put
Verb problem
raise
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 awareness of
this
 phenomenon . There are some solutions that can be provided to prevent massive
urbanization
 in the future. First , the
government
 must allocate a sufficient budget to develop the rural
area
 . The development of the rural
area
 will provide tons of new work fields for people in the village so the villagers don't have to come to
Add an article
the
show examples
city
 in order to get the appropriate occupations . Another solution that can be constructed by
Add an article
the
show examples
government
 is
incentive
Fix the agreement mistake
incentives
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.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
can give
incentive
Fix the agreement mistake
incentives
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for improving agriculture/farming industries in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rural
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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area
 . The scheme can be a subsidy
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 farming tools and materials or can be a workshop /educational program to improve the knowledge and skills of the farmer . The cooperation and commitment of
government
 and society can reduce rapid migration by providing more work fields and improving farming industries in rural.
Submitted by alimr.bri2 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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