Many people argu that in order to improve educational quality, high school students are encouraged to make comments or even criticism on their teachers. Other think it will lead to loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your Opinion.

#people #argu #quality #school #students #comments #criticism #teachers #loss #respect #discipline #classroom

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Although

Linking Words

Medicine

Use synonyms

is a field which has a myriad of branches with a lot of fascinating and impressive ways of studying it, one of the most awe-inspiring characteristics is, without a doubt, its well-balanced relationship among natural, formal and social sciences.

This

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mixture leads to a wide spectrum of complex stumbling blocks which requires an appropriate combination of curiosity and multidisciplinarity to solve them. From a very early age,

this

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aroused my interest and prompted me to study not only the structure of the human body and physiology but

also

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the mechanisms of pathogenesis with their respective treatments. My Bachelor’s Degree (BS) in Medical Science (Medical Doctor, MD), which was studied at Universidad Militar Nueva Granada in Bogotá, Colombia, was a complete training in both clinical and

research

Use synonyms

fields using analytical methods

as well as

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evidence-based

medicine

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techniques. The integration of these aspects

along with

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acquiring the basic knowledge about natural sciences,

such

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as cellular biology, biophysics, biochemistry, anatomy, histology, etc, showed me how perfect the functionality and homeostasis of human beings is. Since

then

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, Health Sciences became a passion for me, showing a high academic performance with award scholarships being granted

due to

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‘The Class of Honors Qualification’, and achieving the best GPA over 52 alumni in my class graduating students. Over time and parallel to my academic duties, my career interests in the

research

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field constantly increased. In the beginning, they were focused on Stem Cells, Genetics & Genomics, and Bioethics, taking an elective course for three years related to these branches in which there were theoretical and practical immersive sessions.

Hence

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, exploring deeper into the most specific literacy and

research

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done from ancient times to the present day

as well as

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learning cutting-edge techniques about cultures, analysis, and methodology,

finally

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being part of the ‘BioGenEtica

Research

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Group’ at the above-mentioned University. After that, my

research

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experience broadened to other topics linked to microbiology and parasitology, researching mainly diseases caused by helminths and protozoa that affect children in Colombia. These projects have been presented at

several

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apply

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not only national but

also

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international symposiums and conferences and published in indexed journals. Regarding my work experience, during the

last

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academic year in my BS, which is known as ‘The Internship’, the general clinical rotations were deeper in knowledge about Pediatrics, Surgery, and Gynecology and Obstetrics, and my elective program consisted of seven months related to Internal

Medicine

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Subsequently

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, after my graduation, my clinical performance was focused on the Internal

Medicine

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field mainly related to critical

care

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, emergency room, and inpatient health

care

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Additionally

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, taking specific continuing education courses to learn the most innovative strategies about COVID-19 management and The Fundamental Critical

Care

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Support certified by The Society of Critical

Care

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Medicine

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Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on Sun Aug 04 2024

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task achievement

You could improve your essay by explicitly stating your position in response to the prompt in the introduction and conclusion. This would make your argument clearer and stronger.

task achievement

Try to address counterarguments. Discussing both views outlined in the prompt would lead to a more balanced argument and stronger task response score.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to maintain logical flow and increase readability. While your essay is quite coherent, adding more connective phrases can contribute to a smoother flow of ideas.

coherence cohesion

You have a well-organized essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding section. This solid structure enhances readability and cohesiveness.

task achievement

Your use of specific examples and detailed descriptions demonstrates a deep understanding of the subject matter, which strengthens your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.

task achievement

You provide comprehensive and clear ideas, reflecting a high level of proficiency in articulating thoughts and presenting relevant information.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

451 words

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Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion