IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

International sporting events could contribute greatly to peace and stability in the world. Do you agree/ disagree

#events #peace #stability #world
Nowadays, people may see that international sporting
events
 could contribute greatly to
peace
 and stability in the world.
This
 issue has ignited public attention for the people who want
peace
 and tranquillity in their country. According to the topic, I partially agree with the assertion and in
further
 paragraphs, I will discuss the topic in detail and my opinion will be given as well. To support my agreement, international sporting
events
 show the image of
peace
 and friendship among the national representative groups. It is undeniable that playing
sports
 can build strong friendships rather than we can imagine and
playing
Change the verb form
play
show examples
sports
 can solve misunderstandings cases between nations.
For example
, some of the behaviour that they do and communicate will make you feel uncomfortable or rude but when we see them in person and look through their culture can solve misunderstandings. So, we can avoid and behave what they dislike and like.
Other
Correct quantifier usage
Another
show examples
 supporting points against the topic are trading could contribute greatly to
peace
 more than
sports
. Mostly all of the nations involved in
sports
events
 communicate by trading goods , advanced technology and so on. To cite an example, all country around the world trade their local goods to their neighbouring countries to get profit and import the goods that they may need like gas or basic foods. Because of exporting and importing, neighbouring countries become friends and look after each good sake. To conclude, only sport cannot pave the way to
peace
 and stability in the world as politic is really complicated and need a lot of other culture and customs concern.
However
, I passionately agree and believe that
sports
events
 show
peace
 and friendship among nations.
Submitted by rolandar.ki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: