IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Teenagers should not be allowed to use mobile phones in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#teenagers #phones #schools
In
this
 day and age , inventions always have
Correct your spelling
significant
Correct article usage
a signifcant
show examples
signifcant
Correct your spelling
significant
 role in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human being's life.
For instance
, the advent of
mobile
Correct article usage
the mobile
show examples
phone
 has
key
Add an article
a key
show examples
 role in many people's day
today
Correct your spelling
to day
show examples
 activities. A fair amount of individuals suggest that the
use
 of mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 should be banned in school. I completely support
this
 notion. On the one hand, gadgets have a
drammatic
Correct your spelling
dramatic
 effect on
children
's attention
moreover
 it has
determental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
 impacts on
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 focus while studying. Nowadays ,a fair amount of
students
 have been addicted to social media applications like Facebook and Instagram.
Therefore
, if they have an opportunity
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
show examples
Correct your spelling
mobile
show examples
moble
Correct your spelling
mobile
show examples
 phones
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 they will utilize
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
As a result
 ,concentration
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 studies will decline and have a negative effect on academic performance. Same like ,
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
the mobile
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 can distract the child's interest
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 other
Correct your spelling
online
onlne
Correct your spelling
online
 and offline games .
A research
Correct article usage
Research
show examples
 conducted by WHO reported that excessive
use
 of mobile has
a
Change the article
an
show examples
enomorous
Correct your spelling
enormous
 effect on the attention of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
.
Furthermore
, the excessive
use
 of gadgets
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a profound impact on
children
's
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
 skills. Recently ,
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has a vital role in student's life.
Consequently
, a great
Correct your spelling
number
nmber
Correct your spelling
number
 of
children
 always depend on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 for gaining knowledge.
Correct your spelling
Without
show examples
With out
Correct your spelling
Without
show examples
 a doubt , whenever a child
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to acquire new information immediately
Correct your spelling
that
they
thet
Correct your spelling
they
 will search on the
internet
. So if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers have the chance to
use
 mobile
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 educational settings could encourage them to
use
 more mobile
instead
 of books and memories.
Likewise
, they will not utilize the school facilities like
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 for learning . According to
Hindu
Correct article usage
the Hindu
show examples
Correct your spelling
newspaper
show examples
news
Correct your spelling
newspaper
show examples
paper
Add a comma
,paper
show examples
 7/10
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 are always interested to acquire new ideas from
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 rather than books. To conclude ,
mobile
Correct article usage
the mobile
show examples
phone
 is
advantagenous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some extent but it has a negative impact not only on
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 academics but
also
 on
creativity
Add an article
the creativity
show examples
 of the child.
Therefore
 , it should be prohibited in schools.
Submitted by nairrohith719 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Focus
  • Academic performance
  • Distractions
  • Social media
  • Social interaction
  • Cheating
  • Mental health
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Safety
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Equal opportunities
  • Learning environment
  • Technology access
What to do next:
Look at other essays: