IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The government must ensure that citizens have a healthy diet, while others think this is an individuals' duty. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#government #citizens #diet #individuals #duty
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the responsibility of making sure all members of the general public consume a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 lies with the authorities,whereas others are of the opinion that a person's food intake should not be a concern for others.In my opinion,
governments
Use synonyms
 should influence their
citizens
Use synonyms
 to eat a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 due to their immense authority.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views. On the one hand, it is impossible for
governments
Use synonyms
 to collect the exact data on each individual's
diet
Use synonyms
,so
people
Use synonyms
 should be mindful of what they eat.Promoting a self-regulating
diet
Use synonyms
 could improve one's knowledge with regard to
foods
Use synonyms
;
furthermore
Linking Words
, in a situation where
governments
Use synonyms
 could not pay attention to
foods
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 with the knowledge of healthy
foods
Use synonyms
 might benefit more than others.
For example
Linking Words
, in developing countries,where the scenarios of
governments
Use synonyms
 monitoring
citizens
Use synonyms
'
diet
Use synonyms
 are scarce,acquiring healthy self-catering methods can reinforce physical growth.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,since the authorities are present for the sole purpose of ensuring their
people
Use synonyms
's well-being and prosperity, they should consider in which ways they could cater for the best of their
citizens
Use synonyms
.Only
governments
Use synonyms
 could vary the majority's
diet
Use synonyms
 and introduce legislation prohibiting the consumption of unhealthy
foods
Use synonyms
 on a nation-scale .
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,if the government were to take initiative, drastic changes take place in
citizens
Use synonyms
' lives.Japan is the best example of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon,because ,in the
second
Linking Words
 world war, most Japanese
people
Use synonyms
 were insulted for being midgets,but after the government had provided healthy
diet
Use synonyms
 schemes in high schools,they,especially the current generation of Japan, are no longer perceived as being short. In conclusion, there is some truth in us being responsible for what we eat,but it is the government which can actually force
people
Use synonyms
 to be in conformity with the rules of healthy eating.
Submitted by hsanlay0118.com on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: