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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is an ongoing debate regarding future pathways. There are divided opinions. Some individuals have argued that youth should select the jobs they are interested in. Others counter that it should be considered more practically and considered for the upcoming years. Before my stance, both viewpoints will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs with valid reasons and appropriate examples. On the one hand, many folks say that adolescents should have a look at the projects that they love to do.
This
Linking Words
 is because they will be motivated to do more
work
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, working in the interested job will help them to learn new skills and excel in their fields.
In addition
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 to
this
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, they could earn more in the field in which they like to
work
Use synonyms
.
In other words
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, they will remain enthusiastic and create a milestone in their career.
On the other hand
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, young people have changed their perspective
while
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 choosing a career path. The main reason behind
this
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 is salary. Working with well-known companies will pay you more for the
work
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 and it will give you stability in life.
Furthermore
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, career growth will be there.
For instance
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, I have been working with one of the banks for the
last
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 two years. I was hired as a customer service associate.
However
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, by seeing my
work
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 standard I was prompted as a manager
last
Linking Words
 month with a higher package.
Lastly
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, it will help to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 the dreams of the family too. In conclusion, working in a field that motivates young people will be risky to grow their careers because of more competition and less market scope. It is essential that remain financially stable and
work
Use synonyms
 with a reputed company will gain experience and use in the resumes. I believe in the second view because it plays
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
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 role in life.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and logical flow. Transitions between ideas can be improved for better cohesion. Consider adding concluding sentences to each paragraph to reinforce your points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. It helps in strengthening your arguments and making them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay, setting a good foundation for the reader.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically arranged, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
You provide a personal example, which adds a personal touch to your argument and gives a practical perspective to your discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • skill development
  • market demands
  • financial stability
  • career growth
  • job security
  • income level
  • fulfilling professional life
  • personal happiness
  • career counseling
  • job market trends
  • adaptability
  • work-life balance
  • health implications
  • job automation
  • redundancy
  • emerging technologies
  • stable employment
  • motivated
  • competent
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