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Band 5.5

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
Nowadays, there are many things that people can do on their
phones
. Many youngers
use
 their smartphones for long
hours
 every day because they
use
 their phone to play. In my view,
this
 may lead to harm to their body in the long term so in
this
 essay I will discuss
this
 issue . Recently, there is a fascinating revolution in gaming on smartphones which can
led
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to an increase in the spending
hours
 that
kids
 play on their
phones
. The phone gives all
kids
 the potential of gaming without any restrictions. For ,instance when PUBG gaming appeared, it attracted all
kids
 to play
this
 game because it was considered an easy game and it has been available on all
phones
 until now so playing on the phone contributes to increasing
hours
 of using the smartphone.
On the other hand
, there are many cons to
this
 development. when
kids
use
 their
phones
 for long
hours
,
this
 may lead to harm to their eyes and bodies because they spend many
hours
 just focusing on the screen without any movement which can lead to rising in the possibility of eys damaging in long term. For ,instance all
kids
 that have played very much on their
phones
, wore a medical glass for their eyes because they could not clearly see. Overall, there are many reasons that make
kids
use
 their smartphones daily like they play many games on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 but it is not a good thing because it causes much damage to their bodies.
Moreover
 in the long term youngers are forced to wear medical glasses to treat their problem so, in my view, it is a negative side and it should decrease the time of using
phones
 for all
kids
 to protect them.
Submitted by alialawi751 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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