Some people believe that sport is an essential part of school life for children, while others feel it should be purely optional. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #sport #part #school #life #children

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While some people are convinced that sport is a crucial role in the

life's

Change noun form

lives

show examples

of the children at

the

Correct article usage

apply

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school ;

however

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, others feel it should be on an optional basis. In my opinion, I disagree that

sports

Use synonyms

should be an essential part of the curriculum. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will look at both sides of the argument. On one hand, students must take part

Change preposition

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

activities to stay healthy and active.

For instance

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, a study conducted by Enugu university in 2017, has concluded that when students play physical activities like football, badminton or volleyball, the percentage of testosterone, which is a hormone, increases significantly

as a result

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increasing their immunity as well as activeness levels by 67%.

Furthermore

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, when scholars are agile, they are more likely to perform in their academics.

On the other hand

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, when

sports

Use synonyms

becomes

Correct subject-verb agreement

become

show examples

a necessity

Change preposition

show examples

a child's life, they might end up neglecting their studies.

For example

Linking Words

, a survey conducted by the vanguard news I'm 2019 has stated that 78% of scholars attending an institute of learning were unable to manage their time efficiently thereby causing them to achieve lower test scores than their peers. Not only did they perform poorly on tests but

also

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ended up being stressed. In conclusion, when teenagers are made to play

sports

Use synonyms

there are a few benefits and drawbacks with increased immunity and fitness level while the latter being not having enough time for education. After a thorough analysis of the subject, I can conclude that the disadvantages of making

sports

Use synonyms

essential

outweighs

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outweigh

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the advantages.

Nevertheless

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this

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can be corrected if kids are taught how to manage their time.

Submitted by onuanderline on Wed Jul 13 2022

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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