Some people think that the teenagers years are the happiest times pf most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
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Today, there is an argument between
people
who believe that living in the teenage period is the most joyful time
of every person
's life
and people
who have faith that besides
a lot of work in adulthood period, this
time
is the happiest time
of all time
. This
essay will argue that the teenage years are the best time
in each person
's life
.
On the one hand, these days a lot of people
think that living as a teenager is the best thing that can happen to someone. The vast majority of teenagers do not have any concerns
about daily problems
and the only issue in their life
is how to plan for their plays where they can have an unforgivable time
. In my point of view teenagers not only do not have concerns
about big problems
such
as monetary problems
or how to feed their family but also
their families provide them with everything in terms of financially and mentally. For instance
, a survey which was conducted in my area in 2015 showed that only 3% per cent of the young generation knew the meaning of anxiety and depression.
On the other hand
, some people
have this
concept that living as a mature person
in society could be the dream time
of every person
. Since some individuals are passionate about taking some responsibilities in their daily lives and can be known as a grown man or woman, this
feeling will give them to be important. So, by having this
feeling about life
and work, people
think being an adult is the best period of their life
. However
, when you have different tasks in your life
, you are put under heavy pressure as well as
financial problems
. As a result
, these huge concerns
would create a situation where individuals could be treated by
mental illness. Change preposition
with
For example
, more than 45% of employees who are working in my company have anxiety because of heavy duties and a lot of pressure.
In conclusion, in some people
's minds, there is a concept that when you are living as a teenager you will have a happy life
, while
others think in the opposite way where they think adult life
would be a much happier time
. But, children do not have any concerns
in their life
, so, they will be much happier and more passionate about life
.Submitted by ramtin.n1374 on
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Task Achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion of both views before presenting your conclusion to strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to enhance readability and interest.
Task Achievement
In your examples, try to cite broader, more universally recognizable studies or statistics to strengthen your argument.
Introduction & Conclusion
You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
Logical Flow
Your essay maintains a logical flow of ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow.
Supporting Examples
Good use of examples to support your main points, enriching your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?