IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the teenagers years are the happiest times pf most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today, there is an argument between
people
Use synonyms
 who believe that living in the teenage period is the most joyful
time
Use synonyms
 of every
person
Use synonyms
's
life
Use synonyms
 and
people
Use synonyms
 who have faith that
besides
Linking Words
 a lot of work in adulthood period,
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 is the happiest
time
Use synonyms
 of all
time
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue that the teenage years are the best
time
Use synonyms
 in each
person
Use synonyms
's
life
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, these days a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 think that living as a teenager is the best thing that can happen to someone. The vast majority of teenagers do not have any
concerns
Use synonyms
 about daily
problems
Use synonyms
 and the only issue in their
life
Use synonyms
 is how to plan for their plays where they can have an unforgivable
time
Use synonyms
. In my point of view teenagers not only do not have
concerns
Use synonyms
 about big
problems
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as monetary
problems
Use synonyms
 or how to feed their family but
also
Linking Words
 their families provide them with everything in terms of financially and mentally.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey which was conducted in my area in 2015 showed that only 3% per cent of the young generation knew the meaning of anxiety and depression.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 have
this
Linking Words
 concept that living as a mature
person
Use synonyms
 in society could be the dream
time
Use synonyms
 of every
person
Use synonyms
. Since some individuals are passionate about taking some responsibilities in their daily lives and can be known as a grown man or woman,
this
Linking Words
 feeling will give them to be important. So, by having
this
Linking Words
 feeling about
life
Use synonyms
 and work,
people
Use synonyms
 think being an adult is the best period of their
life
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, when you have different tasks in your
life
Use synonyms
, you are put under heavy pressure
as well as
Linking Words
 financial
problems
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, these huge
concerns
Use synonyms
 would create a situation where individuals could be treated
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 mental illness.
For example
Linking Words
, more than 45% of employees who are working in my company have anxiety because of heavy duties and a lot of pressure. In conclusion, in some
people
Use synonyms
's minds, there is a concept that when you are living as a teenager you will have a happy
life
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others think in the opposite way where they think adult
life
Use synonyms
 would be a much happier
time
Use synonyms
. But, children do not have any
concerns
Use synonyms
 in their
life
Use synonyms
, so, they will be much happier and more passionate about
life
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion of both views before presenting your conclusion to strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to enhance readability and interest.
Task Achievement
In your examples, try to cite broader, more universally recognizable studies or statistics to strengthen your argument.
Introduction & Conclusion
You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
Logical Flow
Your essay maintains a logical flow of ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow.
Supporting Examples
Good use of examples to support your main points, enriching your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adolescence
  • carefree
  • responsibilities
  • social interaction
  • personal growth
  • family support
  • memorable experiences
  • identity exploration
  • financial independence
  • autonomy
  • long-term goals
  • career satisfaction
  • family formation
  • wisdom
  • peer pressure
  • insecurity
  • academic stress
  • life experience
  • work-life balance
  • parenthood challenges
  • health issues
  • subjective experience
  • perspective
  • individual circumstances
  • values
  • conform
What to do next:
Look at other essays: