IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

There have been major advances in technology over recent decades and this have led to significant improvements in peoples live. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#advances #technology #decades #improvements #peoples
Technology advancement over the years had imparted
in
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apply
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many ways to Human life. While some persons agree on
this
, others disagree .
This
 essay will examine both
point
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points
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 of view and why I believe in the former. On the one hand, those who are against the significant improvement of technology advance in
peoples
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people's
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 life have some
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well-founded
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well founded
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well-founded
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 reasons.
Firstly
,
Development
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the Development
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 of more dangerous
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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.
This
 is due to the fact that more researchers have been enhanced since they have all the necessary information and access needed to invent harmful weapons like Bombs , Guns among others.
This
 is making it
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easier
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easer
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easier
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 to learn through short
video
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videos
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 whereas ending up
in
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putting so many
life
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lives
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 at risk of death.
Secondly
, it
lead
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leads
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 to early exposure to most teenagers on the use of modern facilities like gas , irons etc.
This
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These
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are
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is
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 home use and as much, extra care should be taken on
it
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its
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 usefulness, which most adolescent may not have
the
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apply
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aware
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awareness
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on
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of
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 its usage causing
fire
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a fire
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at
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in
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 homes if roughly
handle
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handled
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.
Furthermore
, the supporters of
this
technology
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technological
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 advancement
has
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have
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it
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its
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 upside. One major reason
,
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apply
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 is
it
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its
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 effectiveness in modern medicine and treatment.
Scientist
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Scientists
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 over the years found it difficult to diagnose some deathly
disease
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diseases
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 like cancer, HIV and Diabetes but with the innovations of some machines used today , it has become possible to come up with x-ray, Tests , chemotherapy and drugs for the cure and treatment of
this
 disease .
in addition
,
Telecommunications
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the Telecommunications
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industries
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industry
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 is waxing strongly in communication unlike before in some parts
on
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of
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 African
were
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where
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 you have to
stands
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stand
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 In
the
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apply
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line to make phone calls
but
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apply
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now a days
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nowadays
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 with the inventor of phones people can easily reach out to their
love
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loved
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 ones . In conclusion,
although
 they are diverse views opposing the
uses
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use
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 of machinery in daily activities by mankind. In my option, I believe it has more positive
benefit
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benefits
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 suppressed
it's
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its
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 negative ways
base
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based
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 on
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 impartation in medicine and applied in telecommunications industries at large.
Submitted by chimeaustine2018 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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