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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think the best way to learn new things is to study them alone. Others think that it is always better to get help from a skilled teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your choice.

Everyone
realizes
Change the spelling
realises
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 that it is important to improve
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 skills and abilities. I am of the opinion that it is much better to study with a teacher than it is to research alone. I feel
this
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 way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin
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 with, studying with a teacher helps us to stay focused and avoid distractions, which are two things that people today often struggle with. Nowadays, we have a lot of technological distractions right at our fingertips, including smartphones, social networking websites and streaming videos. Even when we make firm plans, it is difficult to stay focused on our studies because it is so easy to consume some frivolous entertainment
instead
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. My own experience is a compelling example of
this
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. When I was attempting to learn English for the first time, my studies faltered because I pulled out my phone whenever I hit a difficult part in my exercise book. When I switched to studying with a tutor,
however
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, she scolded me whenever I tried to use a phone in class.
Additionally
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, whenever I tried
to begin
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 some idle small talk in order to avoid hard work, she changed the subject back to learning English. I progressed much more quickly with her than I did
while
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 studying on my own.
Secondly
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, most of us have an inflated sense of our own intelligence, which causes problems when we try to study alone. Many people believe that with just a nice
textbook
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textbook,
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 they can master any topic on their own. They are of the opinion that they can create a curriculum all by themselves and formulate their own course plan.
However
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,
this
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 is something that only trained experts are actually very good at.
For example
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, when I first started learning
English
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English,
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 I studied all by myself. I wrote complicated lesson plans and schedules that I thought would match my progress. Sadly, I did not learn as quickly as I anticipated
and
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, and
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 my plans fell apart. When I started studying with a talented and experienced tutor, she immediately assessed my needs and ability level and created a more realistic timeline for me.
As a result
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, I have been able to make real progress without feeling discouraged. In conclusion, I strongly believe that studying with a teacher is better than studying alone.
This
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 is because teachers help us to avoid distractions and because they can help us form realistic goals and objectives.

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planning
Plan before you write. Start with a short intro that states your view and the two ideas you will talk about. Make each paragraph begin with a clear topic sentence about that idea.
coherence
Link ideas better. Use small, clear bridges to show order and cause. Words like first, next, also, and so can help.
examples
Give more real examples that show the point. Add small detail to explain why the example fits the idea.
task response
The writer shows a clear view and keeps it in the center of the essay.
coherence
The writer uses a real life example to support points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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