Topic : children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

These days the young generation feels the burdens educationally, socially and on a commercial basis.
Due to
technological advances, comforts and competition to attain them in society are the prominent causes and to overcome
such
issues plenty of solutions could be implemented by responsible individuals. One of the first problems in today’s society is that academic
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
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cards become highly important in recent times for future careers. Meanwhile, the increasing number of exams or assignments raises the level of stress for students. Another problem that needs to be considered teachers, parents and other relatives
also
add more pressure on youth in
this
situation to compete beyond their limits or capacities. To illustrate, a survey in India conducted on primary school-age pupils illustrated that the rate of youngsters who
are committing
Wrong verb form
commit
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suicide every year increased
due to
the anxiety of not getting desired scores in educational competitions.
Thus
, study-wise and socially, children get an enormous amount of pressure on their minds leading to
further
psychological and health issues in them.
Moreover
, small-age individuals feel strained by the desire to achieve so many compelling things in the market.
For example
, toys, clothes, shoes or other accessories are in trend but
due to
their low financial family background, they cannot purchase them. To reduce these problems caretakers, educators and relative social members must give priority to children’s preferences and talents without forcing them to choose mainstream lines.
Additionally
, children must be given appropriate guidance through daily conversation with their parents, teacher or elders about commercial products which are just made
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
life more comfortable, it means life would
be
Rephrase
not be
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possible without them.
Therefore
, with the help of caretakers, young people can get a better idea to live their lives without stress. In conclusion, children have been facing stressful circumstances by competing academically, dealing with social expectations and
attracting
Wrong verb form
being attracted
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towards lucrative products. In
this
overwhelming situation, one immediate practical solution is to support younger ones
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
families and school administrations by giving them the freedom to study without expecting them to be the best and deter them from artificial extra and unnecessary amenities.
Submitted by gurmeetkaursandhu94 on

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task response
The essay addresses the causes of pressure on children and suggests measures to reduce these pressures. The introduction and conclusion are present, and the main points are supported with examples.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is mostly coherent, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, there are some minor issues with the flow of ideas and transitions between paragraphs.

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