Although it is generally illegal, physical punishment continues in many countries. Some argue that parents should have the right to punish their children in this way. Do you agree or disagree?

#punishment #countries #argue #parents #right #children

It is true that in some areas, physical

punishment

still exists despite it being abandoned in the majority of countries because some people argue that physical

punishment

is one of their legitimacy to guide their offspring. From my perspective, I strongly disagree with the statement and the following essay will illustrate the reasons for my view. There are several factors to explain why I have an opposite opinion about corporal

punishment

To begin

with, punishing

children

this

way extremely affects

children

’s mental health.

Although

it seems that the

punishment

is physical, it might lead to the consequence of

children

living a tense lifestyle.

Therefore

, it is easy for kids to accumulate a significant amount of pressure in their minds but they do not know how to release them.

In addition

, parents usually perform as the younger generation’s role models. If

children

have suffered severe corporal

punishment

from their father or mother, it has a tendency that they would behave the same to the

generation.

As a result

, a vicious circle occurs. In terms of the validity of physical

punishment

, much research has shown that it is not an efficient approach to correct teenagers’ behaviours. While

children

do not comprehensively understand why they are punished, they frequently commit the same behaviours.

By contrast

, if parents could teach

children

by heart

instead

of with a stick, the younger generation would have more opportunities to release and distinguish what is right and wrong.

For example

, my parents always explained the reason to me and educated me when I was a child.

Hence

, I can fully understand why I did wrong and prevent myself from doing it again. In conclusion, I disagree with physical

punishment

because it considerably influences

children

’s mental health and it is not valid.

Submitted by wanchu.nien on Thu Jul 14 2022

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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