IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

To improve road safety, there should be more severe punishment for drivers who break the rules. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#road #safety #punishment #drivers #rules
A new solution where heavier fines on road
safety
 have been suggested to apply to illegal drivers. From my personal perspective, I agree with the new proposed advice which intends to make the harder restrictions.
First
,
people
's lives are invaluable. More and more news has been reported about vehicle accidents. And most of them are caused by drivers who do not follow the driving
safety
 regulations well,
such
 as phones with their friends while driving. There are some cases where
people
 may die from these incidents. Whatever the number of fines, it is impossible to make a dead person back to their family.
Moreover
, the raised punishment amount for
people
 who break the road
safety
 rules will let them pay more attention to their daily driving. The potential dangers and probabilities of accidents will be decreased, as they are more focused on driving than before.
Besides
, the rules will
also
 be more effective for all the
people
 who are on the street. Because nobody wants to get fined for their illegal behaviours.
On the contrary
, some believe that giving strict punishments is not the only way to improve road
safety
. It can
also
 be done by bringing awareness among the citizens about their duties to obey traffic rules. It is not the responsibility of only the government to maintain harmony on the roads, but
also
 the citizens. In conclusion, increasing the punishment would be an alternative way to keep roads safer.
However
, there are
also
 other available solutions that can be made to save
people
's life. And
people
 should know that safe driving is not only a government responsibility but
also
people
's.
Submitted by ongchen9788 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: