IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The tourist industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Over the past fifty years, the
tourism
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industry
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 has expanded significantly, impacting most regions around the world.
While
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 some argue that
tourism
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 doesn't always benefit the
countries
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 visited, I completely disagree with
this
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 view. I believe that the
tourism
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industry
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 is beneficial because it boosts the economy of tourist destinations and facilitates cultural
exchange
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 among citizens and
tourists
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. The primary reason the
tourism
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industry
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 benefits
countries
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 is that it significantly boosts their economies. As the number of
tourists
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 visiting a country increases, so does the demand for services like accommodation, food, and entertainment.
This
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 influx of
tourists
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 stimulates local businesses and creates job opportunities, leading to economic growth.
Additionally
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,
tourists
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 often share their experiences and photos on social media, which can promote the destination and attract even more visitors,
further
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 boosting the economy.
For example
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,
countries
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 like Thailand and Greece have seen significant economic benefits from
tourism
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, with the
industry
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 contributing a substantial portion of their GDP and providing employment for a large percentage of the population. Another important benefit of
tourism
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 is the cultural
exchange
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 it fosters between
tourists
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 and local citizens. Interactions between
tourists
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 and locals allow people to learn about different cultures, traditions, and ways of life.
This
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 cultural
exchange
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 can promote understanding, tolerance, and respect among different groups of people.
Moreover
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, these interactions often encourage locals to learn new languages and adopt new practices, enriching their own culture and enhancing their global awareness.
For instance
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, in many European cities, the influx of international
tourists
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 has led to a more multicultural society, where locals are exposed to various languages, cuisines, and customs, broadening their worldview. In conclusion, I firmly believe that the
tourism
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industry
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 plays a crucial role in enhancing the economies of tourist destinations and promoting cultural
exchange
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. The economic benefits and opportunities for cultural learning and growth outweigh any potential negative impacts, making
tourism
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 a valuable asset for
countries
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 worldwide.

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task prompt and provides a comprehensive response. However, you could further enhance your arguments by acknowledging potential drawbacks of tourism and briefly addressing them, which would make your position even stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure, with clear and well-organized paragraphs that aid the reader's understanding. Consider adding more transitional phrases between ideas to improve the flow further.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, well-supported body paragraphs, and a logical conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and specific examples, such as the economic benefits seen in Thailand and Greece, which help to support the main points convincingly.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, making your stance on the benefits of tourism very understandable to the reader.
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