Educating young people is naturally important. However, some think governments ought to invest more in education for adults in need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Education
for teenagers is essential and crucial,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
some people believe the government should provide
education
to
adults
and
this
essay agrees with
this
statement. On the one hand,
adults
have fewer study
opportunities
compared to teens. Most
education
centres nowadays are aimed
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
students or young people, so
adults
are more difficult to find somewhere for advanced learning. They can only pursue their
education
by studying at home
such
as using some self-learning website, which is ineffective for them. If the government can provide them
some
Add the preposition
with some
show examples
study courses or programs, they will have more
opportunities
to improve themselves and learn some new knowledge.
For example
, if some
adults
would like to change their careers, they can learn some new knowledge in the
education
centre and they will have a pathway to do so.
On the other hand
,
adults
can perform better in their jobs.
Adults
may find that they have something that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not fully understood or are unfamiliar while they are working. If they can go for advanced learning, they will be able to continue their studies and learn some new skills which will be beneficial in their work.
For instance
, they may learn how to use some new software that will be more convenient to update data, so when they get back to work, they will be able to use
these new knowledge
Change the determiner
this new knowledge
show examples
and
this
will help them perform better in their jobs. To conclude, as young people already have many
opportunities
in
education
, the government should provide some learning
opportunities
to
adults
.
Submitted by chloelwy3905 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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