Some museums have an admission charge while some do not. In my opinion, the drawbacks of an entrance fee are eclipsed by its benefits in the sense that the income will be ploughed back into operation and development of the museums.

Nowadays many cultural centres like

museums

Use synonyms

have an admission charge

therefore

Linking Words

some

don'tt

Correct your spelling

don't

. I believe the

museums

Use synonyms

must have some charge for entrance. I would argue about my points of view and own reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

, all the organizations have different costs and they have to pay all the expenses in

order

Use synonyms

to handle their business and

support

Use synonyms

all the staff and utilities.

Museums

Use synonyms

have many extra expenses

such

Linking Words

as security affairs, researchers, keeping the items healthy and many other things. In ,fact taking some money via selling the ticket could be so valuable for the museum in

order

Use synonyms

support

Use synonyms

financial matters.For ,instance louvre museum has several million visitors every year, by simple ,calculation we would find that they could have huge earnings every day and they have a continuous income.

Then

Linking Words

we could found out that earning via selling vouchers could have a great daily economical

support

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

, in my ,opinion whenever a service is free for everyone, the people can not feel the value of that. and they won't consider these kinds of great opportunities, so they wouldn't rather participate in

order

Use synonyms

themuse

Correct your spelling

the muse

. For ,instance libraries are mostly free in most countries but ,

unfortunately

Add a comma

,unfortunately

show examples

many people don't care about

this

Linking Words

grateful opportunity.

although

Linking Words

they have lots of costs in

order

Use synonyms

to give the best services to society.

then

Linking Words

I believe that whenever we are looking to encourage the people to absorb the related consumer and visitor we must have some entrance Charge. but with a nice marketing policy have some offer for free or much reduction for some groups

such

Linking Words

as students, researchers, seniors and etc. In

this

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

case they could have some income for their

support

Use synonyms

and show the value of their job and make the best Marketing for their services. In ,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

conclusion I would mention

Linking Words

however

Correct word choice

that

show examples

museums

Use synonyms

are social and cultural organizations. But I believe it would be a better policy to sell tickets at an affordable price for different customer types.

Also

Linking Words

by making a stable income they would be able to continue their jobs and may develop and expand more.

On the other

Linking Words

hand

Add a comma

,hand

show examples

having a Price strategy for different users would best encourage more participation.

hamidrezadehghani1

Jul 16, 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

368 words

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Some museums have an admission charge while some do not. In my opinion, the drawbacks of an entrance fee are eclipsed by its benefits in the sense that the income will be ploughed back into operation and development of the museums.

Some college freshmen find that the courses they choose are not suitable for them. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve the problem?

Environmental damage is the problem of most countries. What factors damage the environment and who should take responsibility?

Nowadays, distance-learning programs have gained popularity, but some people argue that online courses can never be as good as those taken at a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?